


Supernova

by newbandnamethx



Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Skyfire is a big ol softie, Transformer Sparklings, and baby screm is a terror, baby starscream, spark shenanigans
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:40:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 27,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25297795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/newbandnamethx/pseuds/newbandnamethx
Summary: Starscream gets hit by a spare ion cannon blast and ends up an egg through nefarious spark shenanigans. Skyfire scoops him up now the whole autobot faction is roped into babysitting a baby Scream.
Relationships: Skyfire/Starscream (Transformers)
Comments: 113
Kudos: 218





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a dorky dumb idea I know, but I love it with all my heart lmao.

It’s put all of them on edge to be honest. They drug Skyfire out of the ice only a few weeks ago and since then there had been something awry with Starscream. Maybe a wire had come loose somewhere. He was twitchy and tense and drawn so tight he seemed about to explode. Which he did, constantly. 

Other mechs scattered at his approach or ducked their helms. It was hard to miss the tremor in voices now when they addressed Starscream. He rolled into rooms like a thunderstorm and left them a disheveled mess of unease when he left.

As for Thundercracker and Skywarp, they had long dampened their end of the bond after what felt like endless attempts to just get Starscream to put his roiling inconsolable hurricane of emotions into words. It was giving them a spark and processor ache both.

He wasn’t fueling right, he wasn’t recharging right, there was still a manic shine to his armour but the one in his eye had turned to this unsettlingly tortured hollow gaze.

All over a mech they had thought had been gone forever. Skywarp and Thundercracker never really assumed that Starscream got over the whole ordeal with Skyfire, but he had been at least functional when the topic was brought up in passing. There was still a visible wince so they avoided it, but it had been...

Not like this.

He was going to get himself offlined at this rate. 

Thundercracker and Skywarp found themselves nervously eyeing each other during meetings with Megatron, nearly jumping everytime that Starscream was called on for input, as if it were their own designations being called. Their trine leader thankfully, merely answered any questions aimed at him with a hollow monotone.

Megatron didn’t deign to comment on his Air Commander’s lack of ire, proceeding on with the meeting, though he did look at him oddly. The old mech was probably grateful for the lack of aneurysm inducing fighting that was trying to get through a meeting with Starscream normally.

That is until the meeting is over. Starscream is one of the first to leave the bridge without a comment or glance back. As Skywarp and Thundercracker are getting up to leave they look up to see Soundwave’s frame between them.

“Megatron requests your presence,” he merely says in a cool tone, servos resting on either of their chairs, before departing himself.

“Frag,” Skywarp muttered under his breath.

Thundercracker shrugged in tired defeat. He had known the issue of Starscream was going to make itself to Megatron’s todo list eventually, he had just hoped that they would have a better handle on things by the time that happened.

Megatron motioned for them to come closer impatiently, looking between them with his cold, cutting gaze.

“What is wrong with him?” the words lingered heavy in the air and they all knew who “him” was without the actual designation being dropped.

Skywarp opened his mouth to answer, but a glance at Thundercracker had him closing it. Their optics met and Thundercracker tilted his helm in a way that Skywarp understood to mean “let me handle this”.

“Just coming to terms with recent events, Lord Megatron. The defection of such a long time associate has not left Starscream unimpacted.”

“Is that all?” Megatron said, unimpressed and with a hint of suspicion. Thundercracker only wished that Starscream could act with such convincing sincerity when the time called for it. 

“Our trine leader is surprisingly sentimental at times,” Thundercracker said, and if he were in the company of anyone else, he would’ve allowed himself a small smile at that statement. But instead he keeps his face dead and stoic.

“Such disturbances are unbecoming of a second in command,” Megatron said, as if Starscream’s entire presence wasn’t a constant disturbance. “See to it he recovers himself. We will be having a raid in a few days time, I expect to see him present and sharp and in control of his wits again.”

Expect all you’d like, Thundercracker thought to himself. But he tilted his helm in acknowledgement.

“Yes, Lord Megatron. I am sure the open air will do him good,” Thundercracker said, and that part was at least not a lie. 

“Very well, dismissed,” Megatron rumbled. The two of them dipped their helms in respect and with a touch of his servo on Thundercracker’s shoulder the two of them were in their quarters.

“Not the most polite way to leave Megatron’s presence Warp,” Thundercracker said tiredly. 

“You know you were as eager to get out of a room alone with him as I was,” Skywarp said, frame slumping with the same relief that Thundercracker himself felt as he let out a long exhalation. He went over to sit on their berth, letting himself slump back into it. Skywarp's anxious face peeped back into his field of view.

“You really think Screamer is going to be in shape by the time of the raid?”

Thundercracker shrugged, “Honestly, I have no clue. It’s Starscream though, he’ll find a way to make it out alright. He always does.”

Skywarp shrugged, “Yeah I guess.”

\---

Starscream does seem to have a semblance of presence to him by the time of the raid. His optics have more life in them than they had seen in weeks as he surveys the battlefield before them. The autobots had arrived and the skirmish had started.

They could feel Starscream’s spark soar as they tore out into open space together. Skywarp laughed as he saw his trine leader flip a cocky barrel roll before peeling after a target. Thundercracker and Skywarp moved with him, watching the easy way he maneuvered with ease, aiming at his target and shooting with frightening precision.

It seemed like hours it was just the three of them together, dodging and weaving in and out of combat, bond once again open and free and they were-

A bolt of something indescribably melancholic and sickening wrenches through the bond and immediately Thundercracker and Skywarp know what Starscream has seen before they have locked eyes on him themselves. 

In an instant their leader is gone at an unbelievable speed darting after the distant figure that they can only guess is Skyfire.

Starscream's emotions make him sloppy and the larger craft out maneuvers him even though speed is not on his side. The two of them disappear behind a particularly dense fray of fighting and as Skywarp is preparing to warp them around it, Thundercracker is smashed into by one of the flying autobot dolts.

Skywarp struggles to remember their name as he puts a couple holes in their wings and sends the offending mech shooting off. 

“We were just sitting there like practice targets,” Thundercracker says with an irritated tint to his voice.

“Should we find Screamer or leave him for now?” 

“Starscream can probably handle himself at the moment,” Thundercracker sighed. He had lost track of them and even if they could find them, it’s not like there was much they could do to reign in their erratic partner.

“You think he’ll be okay?” Skywarp asks, too tired to properly convey his worry through his inflection.

“He’ll be fine, it’s the best we can do for now. We certainly can’t offline ourselves worrying about his reckless aft” Thundercracker says, and with a nod Skywarp warps them into safer territory.

\---

Skyfire was happy to see his old friend again, in a way. He was happy that Starscream was alive and in one piece, his allegiance with the Decepticons making those two things a rather questionable status on the daily. He was happy to see that Starscream was just as lively and skilled as he was in their youth, if not, far, far more so.

He was however, not exactly happy that Starscream seemed intent on catching up to him at an alarming speed with weapons drawn. He was not exactly sure what that entailed but if he could help it he wasn’t going to find out. 

So he and Starscream danced. They bobbed and weaved and Skyfire could almost have been said to be having something approximated fun when he heard the dull whine of an ion cannon, and with that he remembers where they are and what they’re doing.

Skyfire shoots out with Starscream crackling along after him, the jet gaining concerning speed, almost catching him. There’s a small moment where Starscream is right alongside him, red optics looking into his and Skyfire is startled by the amount of hurt there, barely having time to process it as he finds himself jerking away instinctively.

There's the sounding boom of an ion cannon, and like that Skyfire is looking behind him to see nothing but shrapnel and the slowly dimming light of an explosion.

In a second it’s over and there is no Starscream and his spark seizes. It’s familiar. He’s done this once before. Skyfire pulls a hard u-turn and rockets back towards the wreck of floating silver debris. It floats elegantly in the space, catching bits of light and reflecting it as slowly the pieces of his former friend drift apart.

It’s an eerie sort of funeral. 

He transforms back into his mech form as his optics scan the floating bits of seeker until he sees it, pulsing gently and turning slowly, as if it were patiently waiting for him. His large servos eclipse its being as he pulls it near to him, cradling it against himself.

“Sorry,” he murmurs. “Sorry, I did not intend for this old friend.” It seems to pulse at the sound of his voice, maybe it recognizes him. Skyfire remembers himself when he hears the whine of the ion cannon gearing up to fire again, and with that he is shunting the item away into a compartment and transforming again to rocket off back to the Ark.

When he steps back into the ship a worried bustle greets him.

“-Miracle you got out in one piece,” Ratchet’s chastising gruff starts in.

“Can’t believe you missed an ion cannon blast,” Bumblebee nattered excitedly as he crowded his space.

“What happened to Starscream?” Prowl asked, leaning back from where the others were crowding him, looking at him intently.

“Ah, well. You see,” Skyfire said, halting a moment and struggling to find words. His glossa felt like lead and when words failed to materialize, he just sighed, and shrugged and reached into his compartment and brought it out.

He didn’t see a point in lying about this. It would only put Star at greater risk down the line if his friends on the autobot side had to piece it together, because their next logical step after that would be to assume he was a traitor. Maybe this way he could maintain an element of control.

“What in the pit is that?” Ratchet said, drawing closer to squint at it. It was smooth and hard and a dim pale blue with little occasional pulses of white. It was-

“An egg?” Bumblebee asked with wonder coloring his tone as he looked between the grim faces of the older mechs.

“It’s,” Skyfire rubs at the back of his helm, an old nervous habit he thought he had kicked after coming out of the ice. Apparently not.

“Starscream.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Excuse me?”

“What?”

The barrage of astounded questions and exclamations hit him all at once, and Skyfire raises up a servo in a gesture to placate.

“Please,” He said, and he hopes that his voice doesn’t sound as desperate as he feels. He holds the egg firmly between his two servos, tucking it against him in a way that he realizes looks defensive but he can’t, he cant-

“You and me,” Ratchet snaps, pushing his way through the gawking audience that has surrounded him. “We’re taking this to Prime.”

Skyfire swallows as the medic glares at him impatiently, “Now.”

He follows after him, and they walk in quiet together. Skyfire still has the egg under his arm, other servo resting lightly on it.

Ratchet pushes open the doors to Optimus’ quarters without knocking, and the mech startles from where he is seated at his desk for a moment, before regarding them each with a nod.

“Skyfire, Ratchet, I hope all is well.”

“Not so much, we have a situation on our servos. Or well, in his,” Ratchet says and he points to what Optimus assumes is some sort of stone or something resting in between Skyfire’s servos.

“Very pretty, but I am not certain as to-.”

“It’s not a stone, it’s an egg,” Skyfire clarifies quietly, as he feels Ratchet’s optics burning holes into him. It was better he explain than have Ratchet do it. 

“Starscream’s spark irregularity seems to have him regenerating a new body and at the current moment he is in this form,” Ratchet clarified.

“What?” Optimus says, optics going wide with alarm. A bolt of panic goes through Skyfire as Optimus moves closer to him. Instinctively he shuffles away.

“I can’t stop you from taking him,” Skyfire said slowly. He looked at the blue and white egg in his servos. “And I won't fight you. But I also won’t make it easy. You’ll have to take me apart to get him out of my servos.”

Skyfire hunkered down into the floor, hunching his frame over the tiny egg, cocooning it with his body, turning his helm to look up at Optimus.

“Get up off the floor like that, you’re acting like we’d smash the darn thing,” Ratchet said, optics narrowing in irritation as he looks at Skyfire like he was a blundering idiot.

Skyfire stares at him in startled surprise.

“For the love of Primus,” Ratchet’s optics were rolling up to look at his processor at this point, as he bent his entire helm back in exasperation. Optimus sighed as he saw the signs of his old friend working himself up into a fit.

“If we autobots were going to start committing war crimes tomorrow, I can assure you that sparklet extinguishing would not be at the top of the list. You're lucky your excuse for being this dense is 4 million years of being locked in ice, otherwise I’d be seriously fearing for your processor health right now. Now get up off that damned floor.”

“Ratchet, enough,” Optimus said, placing a servo on his fiery friend's shoulder. Ratchet looked at him like he had a couple choice words loaded and ready to go but thought better of it.

“I mean really, what does he think we’re going to do, put it in the fraggin’ brig and let it freeze to death?”

“Ratchet,” Optimus said again, this time his servo giving the medic a light shake. “Please, contain yourself or go outside.”

“Alright, alright, I’m done. For now.”

Optimus smiled tiredly at him before he turned his gaze back to Skyfire.

“You and Starscream go a long while back, why don’t you elaborate on your history a bit more?”

Skyfire felt some of the tension seep out of his frame as he realized he was getting the chance to explain himself. Maybe this could still work out.

“Starscream and I met in academy and we used to explore Earth on expeditions together. That’s how my accident occurred originally.”

“And before your accident, were you aware of,” Optimus gestured to the egg, seeming unsure of how to describe it. “This ability of his?”

Skyfire hesitated. 

“Kinda, Star had a close call once and his spark did funny things. Repaired things that you’d have thought would have been unrepairable at that stage,” Skyfire’s mind was flooded with the unpleasant imagery of that memory. Starscream stained with energon, wings crumpled, pede bent wrong, helm half dented in.

“I was aware he had irregular spark regeneration abilities. I was not aware that it would lead to this,” He said, tilting his helm down toward the egg. 

He left out the part where he had seen evidence of energon buildup and hardening on Starscream’s spark when things had looked especially dire. He had assumed it was some sort of reaction by his irregular spark to the enormous amount of environmental stress. The residue had receded as Starscream’s body repaired itself.

“I see,” Prime said and then lapsed into quiet. Skyfire felt the two pairs of optics on him and he shifted uneasily in the silence. He felt an invisible pressure on him to speak more, to clarify. Guilt maybe.

“I didn’t have any bad intentions bringing him back,” He said, allowing himself to extend the egg out from under his arm a little to hold it between his two servos.

“I just couldn’t leave him out there like this. Or let them take him back,” Skyfire said, and he looked at the two of them, optics pleading. “I swear I will run damage control for whatever issues this may bring but please. Please don’t make me give him back.”

Optimus looked at the egg and then at Skyfire, and finally spared a glance at Ratchet, who stared right back.

“If you want my opinion,” Ratchet started, eyeing Optimus as if expecting him to chastise him again. “Starscream is harmless like this, and likely to be harmless for a while. Maybe even indefinitely. Maybe there’s a chance he could have a change of spark.”

“And if not?” Skyfire asked, because he had to know what the worst case scenario would be.

“He gets to spend the rest of the war in the brig, provided we don’t have to kill him to get him there,” Ratchet shrugged. “We can hardly turn him loose if we are going to expose him to the layout of the Ark.”

“While not ideal, those terms are agreeable to me,” Optimus said, looking at Skyfire intently.

“Thank you,” he said graciously, his servos subconsciously squeezing the egg tighter.

“This whole,” Ratchet gestured broadly to Skyfire’s entire frame. “Ordeal is your business. Come to me for medical advice about how to feed and clean a sparkling. But the rest is up to you. I hope you're prepared, they’re loud, and knowing this one, he’ll likely be especially so.”

Skyfire nodded, unphased by the challenge. He’d been companions with Starscream for millenia, and was used to him being noisy, disruptive and destructive. At least this time he would be smaller.

“Alright then, it’s settled. Good luck Skyfire,” Optimus said. Though he couldn’t see his mouth, he could hear the smile in his voice.

“Can I touch it?” Bumblebee asked as soon as he was back in the common area. The smaller bot kept pace with him, peering eagerly into Skyfire’s arms. Skyfire mulled it over a moment.

“Come on, it's sparkling, even though it’s Starscream, I wouldn’t have the spark to hurt him like this,” Bumblebee pleaded.

Skyfire sighed in resignation, and lowered down the egg so Bumblebee could touch it, keeping his grip firm. A cautious servo reached out, one digit extended, and rubbed the egg.

“Feels smooth. Also looks pretty,” Bumblebee murmured. 

Not unlike the mech it's going to turn into, Skyfire thought to himself. He hadn’t realized he was smiling until Bumblebee looked up at him, curiosity plain on his face.

“Why’d you save him? I mean sure he’s just a little,” Bumblebee tapped on the egg. “But also it’s Screamer and this whole thing seemed kinda risky for you.”

Not in the mood to cut Bumblebee off and isolate himself in his room, Skyfire seated himself on a nearby chair, nestling the egg next to him on the couch.

“Starscream and I go a long ways back. We were good friends and traveled extensively together. I saw him through a lot of hard times, and he did the same for me.”

Skyfire wasn’t a hundred percent sure about sharing the next part, but something about Bumblebee was so naive and warm, he did so anyways.

“I heard from Starscream’s trine after I was found, but before I defected, that he had never stopped looking for me when he had the opportunity,” Skyfire said, clearing his vocalizer when it threatened to grow staticky. 

“I would like to return him that kindness. I can only hope he will still be receptive to it when he regains himself.”

Bumblebee nodded.

“Well, not to get your hopes up too much, but I’m rooting for you big guy,” Bumblebee said, and the way he smiled reminded him of Starscream a bit too. Mischievous and sincere.

That had been him a long time ago before the ice. Skyfire looked down at the egg, and chuckled to himself about how their roles had been reversed.


	2. Chapter 2

Skyfire grabbed an extra insulation sheet from the supply closet and brought it back to his quarters. He tried sleeping with the egg nestled in the sheet, but the paranoia of accidentally crushing it or knocking it off the berth had him laying awake distraught for almost an hour. 

Finally, he pulled out a drawer in his desk, nestled the egg in it with the sheet and then kept watch over it until slowly his optics drifted offline.

Skyfire spent the next few days bringing the egg with him everywhere. It went to breakfast with him, it went to the labs with him, it went to the wash racks with him. Most of the time it was just nestled away in a compartment, but sometimes, like when he was just sitting at his desk writing notes or pouring over some lab reports, he kept the egg out and distractedly rubbed its surface.

He talked to the egg a lot too. Mechs looked at him funny a time or two when they found him alone in the common room idly reminiscing about Starscream’s and his adventures on earth, or about their time back in the academy.

“You know,” he said, cube of energon in hand, arm wrapped around Starscream’s egg. “When we first met, I thought you were so small and dainty and just the most delicate looking thing I had ever seen.”

“And then I saw you pick a fight with a group of grounders that seemed near twice your size. You didn’t win of course, I had to stop them from breaking off bits of you, but you certainly betrayed your looks as far as expectations went.”

“You always were a fighter,” Skyfire said, tapping the top of the egg, as he took a sip from his cube and a small chuckle escaped him.

“I didn’t always respect your methods, but I respected that aspect of you,” Skyfire said, and part of him grew sad at that. Starscream always had this drive about him that Skyfire admired, it just seemed like he would occasionally aim it in the wrong direction. It was bad when he had been there to correct it.

It had apparently been catastrophic when he hadn’t.

To say he had been disappointed by the turn of events he witnessed would have been an understatement. He could never have imagined the Starscream he knew supporting a cause as ill reputed as the Decepticons, accepting half rations and associating with hired assassins and known murderers at will.

As well as being one himself.

That was a doozy for him to wrap his helm around, and he hadn’t quite dug too deep into asking questions about Starscream, part of him being afraid of what he would find. Deep down Skyfire was afraid that the world that had come to be while he was gone had made Starscream as cold as the ice that had kept him away for so long.

Skyfire brought the egg closer to him and took another sip.

\---

The searing pain that had roared through the bond at first had Thundercracker and Skywarp thinking that Starscream had died. Nothing they had ever experienced through the shared connection had ever come close to that level of searing agony, so they assumed it had been Starscream’s bond fizzling out of the connection.

Without waiting for permission or clearance to do so, they had almost immediately begun scouring the dwindling battlefield for proof or remnants of their trine leader’s passing. After a few hours turning up little of what they could only speculate were loose bits of Starscream’s frame, the two gave up.

Megatron had come to them asking of their trine leader’s status and the two had answered honestly. Status unclear, most likely assumed dead.

They spent the next few days in a state of numb shock. Sure Starscream had been a glitch, but he had been theirs, and they had been his. And in the long swath of time they had spent getting to know him, his finer aspects had shown through enough times that neither could deny it.

Their loss was profound and it ached.

“I wish we could’ve found a way to work it out before he went,” Skywarp had said as he looked distantly into nothing.

Thundercracker nodded.

“He wasn’t himself, we shouldn’t have let him go,” Skywarp continued, going down the same track they had already discussed numerous times over.

“As if Megatron or Starscream himself would’ve allowed that,” Thundercracker said grimly.

“Maybe if we had kept a better optic on him or if I had warped him away before-.”

Thundercracker put a servo on his remaining trinemate’s shoulder. 

“Warp, it’s over. He’s gone. We can’t undo that.”

Skywarp nodded but he unsubspaced one of the pieces of metal they had assumed belonged to Starscream, a bit of scrap that was both red and white, and ran a digit over it rhythmically as he looked at it blankly. It was probably from his wing.

Thundercracker wished he had had the foresight to make Skywarp discard it then and there when he had picked it up on the battlefield, but just holding the piece of metal seemed to ease some of the raw ache radiating forth from his partner. Thundercracker hadn’t possessed the resolve.

Gradually over the next few days as they refueled, recharged and attended to their usual duties the two of them became aware of a gradual presence tugging from the third side of their bond.

“You feel it?” Thundercracker murmured as they lay awake together in their berth.

“Yeah,” Skywarp said, but didn’t say anything more. Hope was a cautious, fluttery thing in their spark chambers and they kept it close vested lest it flicker out.

“Feels like he’s in stasis,” Thundercracker said again. It did. No thoughts or emotions reached them through the bond, only a light presence of Starscream being alive and okay. And for now, maybe that was all that mattered.

“You think,” Skywarp said, hesitating before pulling in a shaky intake and trying again. “You think the autobots somehow recovered his spark and are keeping him for repairs?”

“I don’t know Warp, maybe.”

“They would’ve killed him by now if they were planning to,” he said determinedly. “I bet they’re repairing him so they can trade him back, but keeping us in the dark so they can catch Megatron off guard.”

He sighed. Warp’s optimism was a train that had long left the station now and was apparently barrelling away at lighting speed with nothing he or anyone else could do to stop it. Thundercracker could only hope he didn’t end up crushed by it.

“Should we tell Megatron?”

Thundercracker snorted, “Warp. We have the barest sliver of an idea that he is maybe sentient. No. Let’s let it ride and see if anything changes, then act accordingly.”

Skywarp nodded beside him, seeming to agree with that course of action. Thundercracker looked over to see his servos occupied by the bit of scrap, rubbing at it tenderly.

He sighed. He hoped Starscream would regain some form of sentience soon.  
\---

Things got busy in the labs for a week. Thank Primus that Starscream’s egg didn’t need much attention. Ratchet had informed him that in order to keep the seeker egg alive and in hatching order he just had to keep it warm and not let a fellow autobot jettison it out into deep space.

Which was an easy enough task, and really, life with the little egg was going fine. Word had gotten around about what the egg was and while some autobots weren’t happy about it, none of them had gone as far as to directly menace him about it. At most he got looks of mild disdain and disinterest from the likes of mechs like Prowl or Bulkhead.

The most harrowing call he had was when the twins, Sunstreaker and Sideswipe had crowded him into a corner and even then it was just so they could peer closely at the egg. Still their aggressive posing and the fact Skyfire was well aware they had a history of bad blood with Starscream had made him uneasy.

“That thing is going to become Starscream?” Sunstreaker muttered in disbelief.

“No way a mouth that big could fit in an egg that small,” Sideswipe laughed before the two of them eased off and gave Skyfire his personal space back.

Aside from small hiccups like that things were going just fine. That was until one night returning back from the lab.

Skyfire had broken his habit of putting Starscream’s egg back in the drawer by himself. Something just felt right about curling up with the small egg in his arms and falling asleep. It made him feel secure and at peace, and he swore he could feel the tiny pulse of a spark through the egg.

He woke up to a crunching sound, onlining his optics blearily and then looking down between his arms to see that the once smooth blue of Starscream’s egg was dented, a small radius of shattered shell clearly on display, and oozing some sort of fluid. 

Raw panic went through his processor grinding it to a halt as he stared at the egg in abject horror. He didn’t dare move, his joints seeming to lock up in his distress.

Then the egg did something. The dented area shifted a little, more of some viscous fluid oozing forth as a twinge of hope allowed Skyfire to let out a cautious exvent.

Too afraid to move the egg, Skyfire huddled his knees to his chassis and sat staring at the small egg as the gradual movements grew less gradual and louder as the egg itself started to split apart.

When a tiny blue servo pierced the mess, Skyfire’s frame slumped in relief. Gradually something, or rather someone started to worm its way out of the shell and into the world.

A tiny body emerged from the shell, optics coming online, to stare at Skyfire. They were white, as all newborn sparking’s tended to be, but after a moment of staring at Skyfire, Starscream’s optics flickered and turned blue. A dark little face peered up at him.

Skyfire looked him over then. He was as he always was, just smaller, rounder. His features weren’t the sharpened knife point angles they had become with mechhood. There was no unfamiliar coldness to his optics. Just a sort of dazed curiosity and eagerness. Pudgy little servos reached up to him and Skyfire offered a blunt digit out to him. His digit was too big for Starscream to even hope to wrap a digit around, but the tiny seeker tried anyways.

He stared up at Skyfire, awe in his little blue optics. Skyfire smiled down at him. Skyfire reached out and touched the top of his helm, giving it a small rub. A tiny churr rose up from the small frame, which started to vibrate. Skyfire realized he was purring.

His spark seized for a moment. He scooped up the small seeker who looked absolutely tiny and oh so breakable in his large servos. Gently he raised him to his face and gave him a small kiss. Starscream let out another pleased churr and softly tapped his helm against Skyfire’s. Skyfire chuckled to himself.

After a small session in which he acquainted himself with Starscream and allowed Starscream to grow acquainted with him, Skyfire scooped up the small frame and headed to the medbay. It was still quite early in the morning and the halls were empty. The seeker squirmed in his arms a minute before settling himself, and peered out at the world curiously.

He poked his helm into the medbay, seeing that no one except Ratchet was in, the mech sitting at a desk looking about half in recharge. Skyfire was sorry to disturb him but he also didn’t think it would be wise to wait.

“Hey Ratchet,” Skyfire said. Ratchet started up and looked at him.

“Hmm? What is it?” 

Skyfire shuffled his frame fully into the medbay and held up his servos with the ever shifting Starscream in the center of them.

“Egg hatched.”

Ratchet’s optics widened in astonishment as he got up and hurried over to peer closer at the miniature Starscream. The dark face looked at him in delighted surprise and Skyfire watched the tiny wing nubs on Starscream’s back flutter with excitement.

“Well, I hate to say it, but that’s the most precious thing I’ve seen in quite a while,” Ratchet said, as he peered closely at the tiny mech. He looked up at Skyfire, “May I?”

Skyfire inclined his helm, “Please.”

Ratchet lifted the sparkling out of Skyfire’s servos. Starscream let out a gurgle and flailed a bit as he did so. Ratchet couldn’t help the smile that came across his face. Sure this tiny seeker in his grown form had put more mechs in his med bay than Ratchet even wanted to think about...

But right now, aside from looks he didn’t seem at all like the same Starscream that Ratchet had come to know and hold distaste for.

“Blue optics huh? Pretty eerie to see on such a fearsome face,” Ratchet said as he tipped Starscream’s chin up and examined his helm. He poked and prodded the seeker a bit before turning him around to look at his tiny wing nubs and then turned him around again. Starscream fidgeted in response and let out an angry click or two at being manhandled.

“Yes, yes, you’re very fierce,” Ratchet murmured as he looked him over before ducking away across the room.

He rifled through his cabinets and came back with a very small cube of energon. As soon as his optics caught sight of it, Starscream was restless, edging himself closer and closer to the edge of the medical berth. Skyfire reached out a steadying servo as his spark pulled in anxiety at the sight of seeing Starscream near willing to throw himself off the berth in his excitement.

“Alright,” Ratchet said, giving him the cube. Starscream drank it down without pause, only letting out a small sigh of contentment when he was finished. Ratchet took back the cube, prying it from the tiny servo.

Skyfire felt Starscream begin to slump in his servo and looked down to see the tiny bot half into recharge.

Ratchet chuckled, “That’s normal. He’ll sleep a lot the first few days, probably be pretty well behaved because of it. After that, all his systems should be fully online, and good luck keeping him underwraps after that.”

“Feed him every few hours, but measure it out small, like this,” Ratchet said, handing Skyfire the small cube. “He will probably drink as much as you give him, which won’t be too good for his systems. Other than that, give him lots of contact and stimulation, it’ll be important for his developing sensors.”

Skyfire nodded taking the small cube in one servo and lifting up Starscream with the other, holding him to his shoulder.

“Also get a bin or something and wash him with solvent, get all that gunk off him,” Ratchet said, eyeing the bits of dried eggshell and ooze that clung to Starscream. Starscream’s pede twitched as he drifted into recharge. 

“Thank you doctor,” he said, inclining his helm to Ratchet. Ratchet smiled, optics on the tiny wing nubs facing him.

“Well, just take good care of him,” the smile dampened a bit. “And don’t make us regret sheltering him. Optimus is putting a lot of faith in you to make sure this doesn't go awry, and I surely hope it isn’t misplaced.”

Skyfire’s mouth tightened so that his smile was a little more strained as he said, “I’ll do my best.”

And with that they were heading back to his quarters. Once there Skyfire found a bin in one of the supply closets and with that in one arm and Starscream in the other he took them both to the wash racks. 

He let the bucket fill with solvent as Starscream looked at the proceedings enraptured. When it was full Skyfire gently lowered him into the warm solvent. Starscream was less enraptured about that, fear plain in his face as he squirmed in Skyfire’s grasp, causing solvent to slosh over the sides.

“Shhh, it’s alright, I got you,” Skyfire murmured. “Star. I got you.”

Optics blown wide with fear looked at Skyfire but the squirming ceased a bit and Starscream allowed Skyfire to start washing him. Slowly the shuttle started to rub out all the bits of grime and filth from Starscream’s frame, earning himself an angry chitter when he dared to dump a small bit of solvent over the top of Starscream’s helm.

When he was done he dried Starscream off and was not unsurprised to see the jet looking drowsy again. Chuckling, he picked him up and shook out the bin, leaving the wash racks to settle his charge down for a nap.

\---

The sorry mechs of the Ark quickly learned where Starscream had gotten his title from, as the tiny bot was prone to letting out ear piercing shrieks at anything that displeased him. Which included but was not limited to: Not seeing Skyfire for any sizable length of time, being approached too quickly by larger mechs, being held by anyone while in a fussy mood, seeing anyone ingest energon that he had not been given a sip of first.

“Greedy little thing,” Ironhide snorted as he offered the cube to the small seeker. Starscream grasped at it eagerly, wingnubs fluttering in his excitement, and took a small pull from the cube before releasing it back into Ironhide’s grasp.

The mech chuckled as he saw the tiny energon mustache left on Starscream’s face. Starscream’s optics narrowed in displeasure as he shifted restlessly in Skyfire’s grasp.

“I think it’s part of seeker nature for them to be so aggressive about sharing fueling when small, they do often grow up in trines,” Skyfire murmured as he gripped Starscream’s helm and rubbed the spare bit of energon off his face. Starscream made a face of distaste but otherwise let him.

“Star explained the culture of it to me once.”

“You and him were close once then?” Ironhide said. “Gotta admit the idea of that slouch having friends at some point is still weird as can be to me, but 4 million years is a long time.”

“We have the same problem but in reverse, I think,” Skyfire said as he picked up Starscream and held him to his shoulder, rubbing his back and patting it softly. “I can’t imagine the Star I knew doing the things you said.”

“Well I guess Megatron changes a lot of things.”

Skyfire nodded, allowing the small frame in his servos to fuss quietly as Starscream squirmed around to catch sight of all the larger mechs strolling around in the dining area. A few caught sight of the small mech and looked at him curiously but none lingered that long.

“Prime tell you what we’re going to do when he inevitably turns into a big one?”

“Ask him to defect and if he says no he goes in the hold,” Skyfire said, not looking away from Starscream.

“That’ll be the day,” Ironhide said, voice straining to keep back a half laugh. “Starscream the autobot.”

Skyfire hoped so, as far-fetched as it seemed to most, he knew some part of Starscream had it in him to change for the better, sincerely and wholeheartedly. He may have been gone 4 million years but part of him just knew that if one thing had stayed the same, it was that. 

The tiny frame in his servos jolted as a very animated yellow bot approached them. 

“Oh is that him?” Bumblebee asked excitedly, drawing in close to peer at the tiny mech. “He’s like Starscream but tiny, and his,” Bee leaned around dramatically to look at his back, “his little wings are so useless.”

Bumblebee laughed. Starscream’s face pulled into an angry scowl at the indignity of having his space invaded by an unfamiliar and very loud mech, so he angrily clicked at Bee a few times and when the bot didn’t get the hint he let out a piercing shriek that had half the mechs in the room wincing.

“Okay, okay,” Skyfire hummed, pulling Starscream’s frame to him and looking at Bee apologetically. “Sorry he’s still kind of sensitive to noise and being crowded.”

“Wow, sounds just like adult him when he does that,” Bumblebee smiled. “Well, good to see he’s mostly harmless and still in good servos. See you later big guy.”

Skyfire waved at him and then looked down at the small frame fussing under him. 

“You’re going to have to learn to play nice with the Autobots eventually Star.”

Starscream gave him an uncomprehending churr as he absentmindedly began to rub his helm.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Starscream learns to be annoying in new ways

It occurred to Skyfire as he lay awake in his own room, tiny seeker dozing atop him, that this wasn’t quite what he had wanted when it came to getting Starscream back. He had him in a physical sense. Here he was. And he had control over him for once, for once he wasn’t always at the whim of whatever stubborn sentiment Starscream decided to pursue.

But he missed him. He missed Starscream as he was. Not the one back in academy, no, Skyfire had conceded that the Starscream he knew then was long gone. He wanted to talk to the Star he had seen that fateful day of the battle, the one who was angry and bitter and confused. Who had tore after him so fearlessly and perhaps mindlessly, with little regard to what the outcome was going to be.

They had had a few brief exchanges before Skyfire had defected. Starscream was still very much the mech he knew at the same time he very much wasn’t. He was still driven, cutting, brilliantly sharp. But he was also harder, colder and it seemed like something was eating at him in a way that Skyfire couldn’t really put his finger on. Whatever it was seemed to ease when Starscream looked at him though, if only just for a moment.

Skyfire had expected him to be angry, when he informed Starscream quietly, at the time most bots were in recharge, of his intention to defect. He had not expected the broken raw look he had been affixed with followed by a blind rage that had only ended when Skyfire, panicking at the amount of noise being made, had stunned Starscream with a nullray and fled.

If there was one thing Skyfire wished he could forget, it was the way Starscream had looked at him, optics full of hurt and betrayal and something so much deeper and unnameable, as his systems went into shock.

It was the first time he fired a weapon at anyone, having refused when the Decepticons had taken him on his first mission. Starscream had taken the brunt of Megatron’s wrath for that, assuring his leader that in time he would mold Skyfire to be a fine warrior. 

Skyfire brushed a digit to the sleeping sparkling’s cheek, and the small frame twitched in response. He smiled sadly. This was a temporary thing, he knew, and to an extent he knew it would only make things harder when Starscream was back in his own mind and appropriately sized body. This was brewing turmoil and he was too weak to stop it.

Maybe that’s what he missed. Starscream being stronger than him, being confident, always knowing what to do… or at least thinking he does. It took away Skyfire’s options and that was good. Because it was so agonizing to choose.

Between Starscream and fighting for a cause he believed in. Between his best friend and his sense of self. It was easy to be drowned out by Starscream’s wants and Starscream’s choices, easy to be strung along with the tide.

But he had started to choose for himself, he chose to save Starscream for one. He chose to take on the risk of trying to rehabilitate him. The choices weren’t getting easier, but maybe he was getting wiser about how to make them.

That, he supposed, would do for now.

\---

He noticed gradually, the small prickle of Starscream’s claws growing in. He didn’t mind them much as his plating was thicker than Starscream’s little needles. Sometimes after fueling, he would scale Skyfire to nestle himself close to his neck or shoulders. A time or two he hung off his back like the world's tiniest self-aware backpack.

Once to a hysterical Bumblebee’s delight, he had scoured the ship looking for Starscream in a panic, only to finally be tapped on the shoulder by Wheeljack, who informed him the jet was dozing lightly on his back, his little claws hooked into some of the thickest and sensor sparse parts of his plating.

As bad as that had been, the real trouble started when Starscream learned he could scale things that weren’t Skyfire. He let him go for a bit. Starscream had actually told him that young seekers had a habit of climbing. It was how they got used to heights, learned to fall safely, and eventually, how they attempted midair transformations. Being high was as natural to a seeker as being grounded was to most everyone else.

He had once left him with Bee only to come back to the small yellow bot frantically trying to reach Starscream where he had decided to perch several feet up in a particularly wide corridor. The seeker merely looked down at Bee blandly, one servo clutching the wall, while the other held a (probably stolen) cube of energon Starscream had most likely stored in his cockpit.

The jet had chittered excitedly at Skyfire’s approach and latched on to his wing when it was offered to him, Skyfire wincing slightly as his small companion hooked in to the sensitive plating.

“Sorry,” Bee had muttered. “I swear I only stopped watching him for a minute because the twins were doing something that looked like it was going to end them both up in the medbay.”

“It’s fine, it’s fine,” Skyfire placated, servo reaching up to pluck Starscream off his wing. “Even I have issues keeping track of him when he does this.”

It was once he started to climb past where Skyfire could reach him that the shuttle started having issues letting Starscream out of his sight for any stretch of time.

The last straw came when Starscream got away from him in the middle of morning refueling, climbing up the wall dangerously high before someone noticed him with a shout. He was on a direct course to an open vent system with a dangerously fast spinning turbine.

Without pause for thought on the noise or scorch marks it would leave, Skyfire lurched up, activated his thrusters enough to take a leaping bound and pried the tiny jet off the wall, landing back down with a slam that jostled all the tables in the room. Turning around, a squealing and excited Starscream wriggling in his servo, Skyfire apologized to the stunned sea of optics on him.

A few moments later, Optimus appeared in the mess room looking mildly harried as his optics glanced from the scorched floor to the disheveled looking room, to Starscream, then finally to Skyfire.

“Well, I assume I don’t need to worry that noise was a Decepticon attack?”

“No sir,” Skyfire said, tilting his helm in apology. 

“Good,” Optimus approached and Skyfire felt Starscream squirm in his arms as he hissed at the looming mech. Starscream had gotten more social gradually, but he still seemed to dislike larger unfamiliar mechs. At the small noise Optimus paused.

“Sorry,” Skyfire said, adjusting Starscream from under his arm so that he sat nestled in the crook of his elbow. “He doesn’t like strangers.”

“Amusing to think that’s what we’ve become after so long at odds together,” Opitmus chuckled as he knelt down to get a better look at Starscream, not coming any closer. Still, a tiny snarl was affixed to Starscream’s face.

“Here,” said Bee coming up with a small rust stick. “If you give him a treat sometimes he warms up to you faster.” He pressed the treat into Optimus’ servo and the convoy took it, looking at Skyfire for his approval.

“By all means,” the Shuttle said with a nod.

Slowly Optimus held the treat out and Starscream, as soon as the treat was in reach, was prying at large digits to get it out. Optimus let it go easily and watched in delighted amusement as the stick was swiftly mauled and swallowed. After that Starscream eyed Optimus for a moment before letting out a pleased chirp.

The warmth in Optimus’ optics and in his resounding chuckle was reassuring. It was nice to know that like this at least, the leader of Autobots could see the value of the small spark that resided in Starscream’s frame.

“Well, I trust you will keep a better handle on him so that we can keep things in good order?” Optimus said, eyeing the scorch mark on the floor.

“Of course,” Skyfire said quickly. He was thinking about getting Starscream a leash.

Optimus nodded his approval before turning and leaving them. Later that day Skyfire actually did have a small harness fitted to Starscream with Wheeljack’s help. It made it easy to keep track of his climbing stints. A pull on the leash was an indicator Starscream was getting too high, and after a few wordless disagreements which usually ended up with Starscream getting pried off the wall if he didn’t respond to Skyfire’s tugs, the small jet was learning what an appropriate climbing height was.

“He’s going to kill you if he remembers any of this when he’s full grown, y’know,” Wheeljack said as he watched Skyfire put the harness on and fasten it.

“There’s already a long list of other things I am sure he is willing to kill me for, I’m just adding to it,” Skyfire muttered.

Wheeljack threw back his helm and laughed.

Bumblebee had made excellent use of the harness by slinging it over any spare bit of railing he could find and letting Starscream dangle, pushing him occasionally so that the tiny sparkling’s wingnubs fluttered eagerly as he rocked back and forth, the tiny bot squealing in delight all the way. More often than not a day spent with Bee meant a tired and less climby Starscream much to Skyfire’s relief.

A few days later it seemed the harness was thoroughly unnecessary as Starscream was dozing lightly in recharge near constantly. He didn’t stir much when Skyfire took him to refuel, only reaching for his cube sluggishly, finishing half of it before drifting back asleep. He carried on the same throughout the rest of the day.

Skyfire stopped by the medbay on the way back to his berth, but Ratchet had merely glanced him over and said, “A sleepy sparkling isn’t a thing to worry about, might be his systems cycling down for an upgrade, it’s bound to happen.”

The next morning, Skyfire’s own systems felt off kilter and fuzzy in a way he couldn’t remember them feeling since his academy days. Starscream still seemed to be recharging most of the time, so after morning refuel, Skyfire took the tiny sparkling back to his berth and tucked him in. The rest of the day was spent in a miserable trudge, as he tried to work through his aching processor even as his optics kept fuzzing on and offline.

“You should visit Ratchet,” Wheeljack told him, not unkindly, as a tube of something he hoped wasn’t too acidic, slipped from his grasp and shattered. He had placed Starscream into Bumblebee’s care, the two of them getting along rather well now that Starscrean’s love of heights and speed was discovered. 

The small bot and the even smaller bot loved to race through the halls, Bumblebee laughing, Starscream emitting audial shattering shrieks of joy as they bounded down the hall. Of course they weren’t doing that right now, right now Starscream was probably still swaddled in his berth resting while Bee tried to keep from going insane watching him. 

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right,” Skyfire said, rubbing at his optics and setting down the datapad he had been holding in his other servo.

He trudged himself to the medbay as soon as he had found a stopping point in his work. His wings ached, his processor ached, his energon went down like sludge. He hoped Ratchet had some idea of what this was.

By the time he arrived at the medbay he was surprised to see it nearly chock full. As he arrived in he spied Ratchet where he was discussing something seriously with Optimus. 

“Let me guess, here because of the virus,” a friendly lilting voice called. Skyfire looked to see it was Jazz. He liked Jazz. Though he didn’t doubt Jazz had reservations about Starscream, he wasn’t one of the many who felt it necessary to make his displeasure known to Skyfire. Instead he was cordial and sometimes gave Starscream a few pats on the helm as he passed by.

“Virus?” Skyfire asked dumbly as he squinted around at the other mechs in the medbay. Sure enough, by the assortment of miserable looking faces, they all seemed to be having as good a time as he was.

“Yeah, it’s making the rounds, about driving Ratchet nuts,” Jazz said shaking his helm. “I had it a few days ago, took about three to burn it off, Prowl has it, I think at this rate more than two thirds of the ship has had, or has it.”

“Not good,” Skyfire said, as his optics threatened to droop closed. Dimly he wondered if that was what had been causing Starscream to sleep so much.

“Not at all, let’s hope that if the Decepticons attack we can at least give ‘em a little something to take home,” Jazz said with a grin as Skyfire’s helm tilted down in a doze.

At the sound of their conversation Ratchet seemed to notice them and came over, looking at Skyfire intently. He jolted out of his daze at his approach.

“You, where’s tiny,” he asked, vocalizer rough with exhaustion. Despite his tiredness Ratchet pulled out his scanner and ran it over Skyfire before he could respond, and his face set into a grim expression as he looked over the results. 

“You’re sick.”

“Starscream is with Bumblebee. I think he might have the virus,” As soon as he said those words, Ratchet’s face shifted into a look of guilty displeasure.

“Bee or the sparkling? Never mind, don’t answer that, at this rate it’s probably both,” Ratchet said with a laugh that came out more like a wheeze. “Okay well, comm him and tell him to bring Starscream in a bit after I clear all these guys out of here.”

Skyfire nodded and with that Ratchet was throwing himself into the fray of disoriented and out of it looking bots, doling out instructions, raising his voice occasionally to lecture the room on common health practices. 

Skyfire realized, about an hour into waiting, that he was starting to miss Starscream terribly. He would’ve been done in the lab by now. The stretch of time apart from him made him twitchy and it was to his immense relief when the bay had finally cleared out to only a few stragglers. Skyfire commed Bumblebee. 

Skyfire’s excitement at seeing Starscream again was marred by how wilted the little bot looked as he hung limply in Bumblebee’s arms, only letting out the occasional whimper when Bee jostled him too roughly on accident making his way over to them.

Ratchet scanned him and relief flooded across his expression, “Alright you are fine for the moment. Though you just spent the whole day with a sick sparkling, so we will see how you fare in a few days time, come back and let me scan you.”

“This little guy however, not fine,” Ratchet said peering at the small jet and scanning him with his gun. The readings were not good, not life threatening, but Starscream couldn’t be comfortable in his state and Ratchet couldn’t blame him.

“He was purging his tanks, let me tell you, I think the little guy puked more out of him than there was in him to start.”

“Bee, not helpful,” Ratchet said, eyeing how Skyfire’s brow creased deeper with concern. “Listen up big guy, go lay down, I have the sparkling.” Ratchet reached out to Bee and picked Starscream up out of his arms, so gently that he barely seemed to notice.

Skyfire hesitated.

“Do you really think it’s a good idea to keep such a young, sensitive, and ailing system near you while you’re sick?” Ratchet said, pointedly shifting Starscream away from Skyfire.

Skyfire sucked in a deep intake and let out an almost petulant, “No.”

“So go off to bed then, you big mother hen,” Ratchet flicked a servo at him, calling for his leave. Skyfire eyed Starscream morosely before lifting a big servo in a little goodbye wave. Starscream was asleep, optics offline, and didn’t register it, but the gesture seemed to placate Skyfire nonetheless. Unbelievable sap.

Skyfire turned to go and near stumbled over a medical berth on his way out. Bumblebee caught up to him, putting a servo on his back and trying to help steer the mech safely out of the medbay.

Ratchet sighed, holding the sparkling apart from him and looking at him. Starscream let out a pitiful whimper and it reminded Ratchet of the noise he’d heard the grown version of him make when Megatron rounded on him suddenly. A bit of the mornings fueling dribbled out his intake and onto the floor. Ratchet pulls out a clean rag and wipes down his intake with a gentle murmur. 

Ratchet squinted at him, old blue optics looking into bright wide blue optics.

He found himself sitting with Starscream curled up in his arm, servo rubbing at the sparkling’s back.

“You and me, huh?” Ratchet said to the sleeping frame in his grasp. “This isn’t the first time you’ve been at my mercy, you know? But this is your best behavior so far, I have to hand it to you, got it all on the floor and not on the berth, awful courteous of you.”

A tiny whimper escaped from the frame in his arms.

“Oh ho? Playing it up for pity points are you?” Ratchet looks at the small face, twisted in discomfort and he doesn’t even consciously decide to start rubbing the sparkling's back again, it just kind of happens that his servo ends up there.

“Of course you’re not, you never had to act to be pitiful. That’s just how you are.”

Ratchet leans back his helm in exhaustion and mild concern. He knows this isn’t going to end well. As much as he wants to give Starscream the benefit of the doubt, the SIC of the Decepticons had quite the reputation.

There was something intriguing about Starscream in a grim kind of way. You didn't claw your way to the top of the Decepticons by being a sane and well hinged person. But there was also something so… tangible about Starscream. He was a liar and a murderer and his loyalty seemed only owed to himself...

But he wasn’t cold or reserved like Megatron was, not in the same way. While Megatron had an almost godlike aura around himself at times, Starscream was something much more mortal and prone to perile. His desire for things out of his reach was ever present. Sometimes, when Starscream was busy sabotaging Megatron over actually attacking Ratchet and his comrades, he wondered what it would be like to have him on their side for good, not just at his own convenience.

If all that rage, and fury, and the punishing drive to amount to something could be tempered into something useful.

Ratchet looked down at the tiny lump in his servos. Starscream was clutching at his own helm, optics shuttered tight, tiny noises of pain eeking out from him.

“I’m only soft on you because I haven’t seen a sparkling in over 4 million years, you hear me?” Ratchet said, rubbing at a small cheek. Starscream whimpered. Ratchet sighed and stood up, rifling through his cabinets. He came out with a small cube, which he mixed with some energon and then added something to dampen the pain.

When he raised it to Starscream’s lips the jet turned his helm sharply, refusing it.

“It’ll make you feel better, you fussy thing,” Ratchet said, pressing the cube to his lips and tipping it a little. Starscream turned his helm again, but a tiny glossa licked out, tasting the fuel smeared on his lips. This seemed to sway him, and within a moment the tiny cube was empty.

“Give it a few,” Ratchet soothed. “Should help you through whatever you’re feeling.”

A few moments later Starscream has settled down again and Ratchet is left dozing with him in the idle calm of the medbay. Calm, he had learned, in his long stretch as an Autobot at war, was almost never something that came freely, racking up a debt that would be repaid in the coming times of chaos.

But for now they had calm, they had peace. And maybe it wasn’t so hard to share that with Starscream while he was so weak and helpless and deprived of the knowledge of his past.

He felt Starscream shift into him, cuddling him closer and part of Ratchet’s spark ached for reasons he didn’t even want to begin to define.

“I don’t like you,” he growled in what was probably the most defeated tone that had ever come out of his mouth. “I don’t.”

A tiny wing fluttered as Ratchet guessed that Starscream was dreaming about flying or something. His resolve cracked open, brittle and waning as it was.

“But maybe there’s a part of you that could be alright,” he said as he stroked a recharging helm. Ratchet hummed him songs he’d known since before the war until he drifted into recharge along with him.

\---  
“I think they’ve lobotomized him, or whatever it’s called,” Thundercracker said grimly.

“Lombuttawhat-,” Skywarp peered at him. 

“They fragged up his processor, maybe they actually do torture bots. Or maybe they made an exception because it was Starscream,” Thundercracker said with a grimace. 

“Maybe the bond is just weak,” Skywarp shrugged. 

Thundercracker shook his helm, “Weak as the bond has been at points, Star’s presence never felt like this.”

This was an onslaught of distant, but powerful emotions, that roared over the bond, as thin and threadbare as it had become. There were occasional flickers of memories and then in response to them strong feelings of horror, discomfort and disorientation. It was almost like-

“It’s like he has the mind of a sparkling,” Thundercracker murmured, more to himself than anyone else. 

“Well you know, it’s not like Screamer was that far off,” Skywarp snorted. His mood had improved drastically, his former mopiness gone as he had realized Starscream was very much alive and present via their bond. They couldn’t actually talk to him much, just sense his vague presence, and him theirs.

“Warp this is serious, even if we get him back, he might not be the same,” Thundercracker said in a low tone. He didn’t know if it would be worse to get Starscream back with half his processor gone than it had been to experience the complete loss of him as a whole.

“He has his memories still, TC, there’s gotta be something we’ll be able to do, even if he is fragged half way into pit.”

Thundercracker sighed, shaking his head in dread at the next sentence he was going to say, “I think… we should inform Megatron of the situation.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one took a bit to get out, I've actually written the second to last chapter of this story already, and have a good idea of what later chapters are going to be like, so towards the end of this you will get updates a fair bit faster hopefully.
> 
> Certainly didn't intend for two whole weeks to pass by between updates, sorry bout that ladies and gents. I write about 1k a day minimum, so things are always progressing, just like... sometimes different stories go at different rates depending on if i know where to go with em,,


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> baby bumble

“Lord Megatron,” Thundercracker bowed lowly before his throne. Skywarp hastily followed suit after a second of distraction. Thundercracker had debated between the merits of bringing Skywarp with him or just going on his own, and had ended up deciding in the case that things went badly he would rather have Skywarp there for a quick escape. They wouldn’t get far of course, but it would keep them alive a few moments longer.

“I trust you have something valuable to share if you are distracting my time with this important message of yours?” Megatron said in a deep tone that almost sounded as bored as it was menacing. Things in the Decepticon ranks had been noticeably quieter without their ever present and problematic SIC around to liven things up.

“We have cause to believe Starscream is still alive,” Thundercracker said, figuring there would be no use cushioning the blow of the news. It was startling how Megatron seemed to perk up at that news, dull red optics growing bright.

“Alive? Why was I not informed of this earlier?” He rumbled, shifting up to look down at the two twitching seekers before him.

“We were not sure up until this point what the remaining feedback in our bond was, but at the moment it seems that Starscream is present."

“Why hasn’t he returned then? Surely he hasn’t followed that miserable shuttle into his defection,” Megatron glowered, lip curling at the thought. Thundercracker shook his helm.

“I don’t think so, from what I sense in the bond it appears that Starscream’s mental faculties have been… hindered,” Thundercracker said cautiously, not wanting to trip their Warlord into a vicious tirade about Starscream’s prolonged incompetence.

“Hindered,” Megatron seemed to mull over the words for a moment before looking back at Thundercracker, red optics glowing ominously. "Continue."

"His processor capacity seems unlike its usual capabilities, I have yet to sense his ability to convey coherent thought."

“Very well,” Megatron said for a moment eyeing the two of them as if gauging their sincerity before speaking again. “Starscream alive and potentially in the custody of the Autobot’s having his processor torn apart represents an enormous security risk. Therefore I will require you and your trinemate to recover him, from wherever he currently is. Shockwave will aid you in attaining a device that can locate the coordinates of Starscream’s particular spark signal. Report to him, attain a full recharge and fuel, then retrieve Starscream or whatever remains of him next cycle, dismissed.”

Megatron waved them off with a massive servo and proceeded to stop acknowledging their presence. Both Skywarp and Thundercracker took a deep bow and left.

“That went as well as it could’ve gone,” Thundercracker murmured.

“Hopefully whatever condition Starscream is in isn’t something Megatron will slag him over,” 

“Assuming he can even be easily moved back to base. What if the Autobots have him in a million little pieces?,” Thundercracker said, brow creasing in worry as he began to dwell on the many unfortunate possibilities their trineleader could have met while he was absent from their bond.

The two of them walked, neither of them saying anything as Thundercracker tried to shove down his uncertainty of what they would find when they went to retrieve their trinemate. 

“Hey,” Skywarp said, resting a servo on Thundercracker’s back, pulling him out of his cloudy reverie. “Whatever is up with Star, we’ll be able to handle it. Has to be better than just leaving him for dead, right?”

Thundercracker shrugged, expression dismal, “Let’s hope so.” They arrived at Shockwave’s lab with the bot waiting for them out front. He punched in a code and they followed him quietly inside.

“I suppose you are here so you can acquire the tool needed for your mission?” Shockwave said, looking at the two blandly as they entered his lab. He turned around to rifle through a table and then back again, this time a small square device with a readout on a third of its surface clutched in his servo.

“This has the ability to track Starscream’s spark signature and-.”

“How do you have Starscream’s spark signature?” Skywarp interrupted, peering at the device curiously.

“Requested experimentation by Lord Megatron,” Shockwave said brusquely and did not bother to elaborate. Thundercracker and Skywarp shared a displeased look at the word “experimentation”. 

“Do not interrupt. Should give you the coordinates which you can just relay to your warp drive and then warp in and out. Do not lose it, do not break it. That is an invaluable piece of fine machinery that took-.”

Skywarp hastily snatched it from Shockwave and warped them away from the monologuing aft.

“You could’ve waited for him to explain how it works before doing that,” Thundercracker sighed, plucking the device from Skywarp’s servos and turning it over. Luckily for their pride and patience, a trip back to Shockwave’s lab was unnecessary as the device seemed pre programmed with Starscream’s signal and the display was continuously updated with a long string of coordinates.

“Funny how unsurprising it is that Megatron had something to keep an optic on Starscream’s location at all times,” Skywarp said as he fed the coordinates to his warp drive, saving them, and running the statistics.

“This is a bit of a leap for me, going to need more than the usual ration to get across and back, also going to take some time for my warp to be ready to make the jump again.”

Thundercracker nodded, “Understandable. We’ll warp a bit outside of the intended location, investigate the area, give your drive a bit of time to recover and then warp to the specified location.”

Skywarp nodded, “Sounds like a plan.”

Recharge for the both of them was uneasy. Skywarp was overly giddy at the chance to get their trinemate back and use his warp drive to usurp autobot plans, while Thundercracker was running down a list of scenarios of everything that could or would go wrong.

By the time refueling came around, neither of them could really claim to be in peak form. But it would have to do. Their rations were plentiful, which seemed to be the only relief in their current circumstances.

As they finished their cubes Skywarp looked to Thundercracker expectantly, holding out his arm as the sound of his warp drive coming on to hum filled the space between them.

“Well, you ready?” He said, looking at Thundercracker expectantly.

Thundercracker looked at him, optics wide, and then to his offered servo. “Here? Now?”

“I mean we can go find a supply closet if you want,” Skywarp said, brow pinching in confusion. 

Thundercracker sighed.

“Come on TC, we gotta do this, for Star, if not because Megatron literally ordered us to,” Skywarp said quietly.

“I know, I know,” he said, and then looked at Skywarp and nodded, servo gripping his as they disappeared from the refueling room with a “vop”.

Skywarp had brought them about a kilometer short of their destination. Short enough that they could clearly scope things out, but not so close they would throw up alarm systems. Though they did have to hurry as their presence would be picked up on the radar and most likely investigated soon.

Before them lumbered the Ark, sitting peacefully in its immobility.

“Frag, guess they do have him,” Skywarp breathed, eyeing the ship. “Why do you think the Autobots didn’t just offer him back for a trade or concession or something?”

Thundercracker shrugged, trying to keep the well of fuel that wanted to leave his intake again at the thought of infiltrating the Autobot command ship.

“Should we go back, call for reinforcements, surely this is out of our depth and I don't think Megatron accounted for-.”

Thundercracker barely had time to register Skywarp’s annoyed side glance before his servo was gripped again and the two of them were stumbling into the Autobot ship.

If Thundercracker hadn’t been paralyzed with shock for a moment at Skywarp’s boldness, he would’ve slagged him then and there. But then his optics went to Skywarp who was staring ahead in shock, and his optics followed his line of sight, helm turning slowly.

Skywarp and Thundercracker had been prepared for a lot. They were prepared to see Starscream a dribbling mess in a cell, Starscream strung apart as part of some heinous medical experiment, Starscream induced into some kind of stasis with wires strapped all around him, processor cracked open-

What they had not expected was to see the defector holding what appeared to be a mini version of their trinemate.

“TC that’s” Skywarp whispered over their bond.

“Oh thank Primus,” Thundercracker sighed softly. He didn’t know if they could reverse this immediately but an infant Starscream was infinitely better than a mentally infirm one. His frame sagged in relief as all the visions of what could’ve happened dissipated at once.

Warp was gone in a flash, literally, warp drive cracking as he appeared in front of a startled Skyfire, snatched an equally surprised sparkling from his servos and cracked back to Thundercracker shoving their tiny trinemate into his arms.

Warp took a running start, pulling Thundercracker along with him.

“What are you doing,” Thundercracker hissed. “Get us out of here.”

“TC I told you last night, I’m going to need a few moments to even be able to clear the ship, all this warping is kicking my aft,” Skywarp said in a surprisingly worn out tone. “I’m calculating the jump back to the Nemesis as we speak, you’d better get me fuel as soon as possible otherwise I might fall into stasis once we get back.”

Thundercracker nodded sharply. They continued running, a distant shout sounding from behind them as they assumed Skyfire broke out of whatever shock he had been in and started to give chase.

Skywarp looked over his shoulder to see a surprisingly fast and determined looking Skyfire rushing at them. 

“Oh frag, move it, TC,” Skywarp said as they rounded the corner of a T intersection in unison and promptly slammed right into someone. Starscream was jostled out of Thundercracker’s arms and for a moment it looked like he was going to hit the ground rather hard before a speedy blur of yellow caught him and then swung him up to hold him protectively.

“What the frag are you two doing here,” Bumblebee shouted in stunned irritation. Without a second thought Skywarp lurched forward and clocked him in the face. 

“Warp,” Thundercracker hissed. “Don’t make him drop Star.”

“Give us back our trinemate,” Skywarp snarled, trying to pry the confused and nearly crying sparkling from Bumblebee’s arms. Bumblebee shoved him roughly back and took a split second to evaluate his options. He couldn’t transform, he couldn’t out run them, he couldn’t overpower them-

As Skyfire rounded the corner and his heaving frame came into view Bee did the only thing he could think of and said, “Skyfire catch.”

Before making Starscream airborne like he had played at all those times before. Had all the noise and jostling not made Starscream so terribly upset before, he might’ve been squealing in joy. Instead Skyfire merely saw a stunned and frightened seekerling sailing towards him.

Starscream was almost in his servos, looking up at him startled and afraid, when a flash of color swooped in front of him. Thundercracker held Starscream protectively against him, looking at Skyfire a moment before running to his trinemate who had extricated himself from the scuffle and moved further down the unoccupied section of the hallway.

Skyfire heard the curious sound of a hum, something charging up and it took him a second to remember what exactly Skywarp’s outlier ability was. Skyfire lurched toward him, desperation and rage twisting his gut in a new and frighteningly visceral sensation.

“Warp, I got him, let’s go,” Thundercracker shouted, looking at Skyfire in fear, curling a fussing Starscream closer to him. Skyfire charged at them, the floor underneath them shaking with the pounding of his pedes carrying his massive bulk terrifyingly fast. From their brief encounters, Thundercracker never would have believed the gentle shuttle could look so intimidating.

“Give him back,” Skyfire roared. The fussing turned to outright tears as Starscream started and then picked up into a wail, the dam of toleration at the unpleasant situation finally breaking.

“I gotcha TC,” Skywarp said, rushing towards his trinemates frantically, sparing a glance at Skyfire before reaching out to touch them.

Starscream reached out towards him over Thundercracker’s shoulder. And with a small “vop” they were gone.

Skyfire sunk to his knees mid run, skidding into the place where his friend had just been, as the sensations of the world around him dulled out. Other mechs came by and addressed him, but when they spoke it was in muffled murmurs and there was a distant ringing sound steadily growing louder and louder and his processor hurt. 

He became aware of a blur of yellow filling his field of view, and a soft touch to his chassis. Skyfire squinted at the yellow and then shuttered his optics, feeling a rush of coolant as he did so. When he opened them again he saw that Bumblebee was in front of him. HIs faceplates were cracked just under one of his optics where he had been hit and a thin stream of energon was dribbling down onto his yellow plating.

“Hey big guy, we’ll get him back,” Bumblebee murmured. “Come on, let’s get you out of here, are you injured?”

Skyfire didn’t react for a moment. Finally he processed the question and shook his helm.

“Alright, I think a visit to Ratchet could do you some good either way, come on big guy, get up,” Bumblebee tugged him up, and only because he was too tired to be mulish, Skyfire got up and followed the tugs.

“Where’s the kid?” was Ratchet’s first question and his answer was Skyfire’s face crumpling in on itself like it was aluminum foil.

“His trine snuck in and snatched him,” Bumblebee said, throwing a helpless glance towards Skyfire. 

“Frag,” Ratchet said, hauling himself up on the medical berth, expression pained. “Just when the little bitlet was starting to grow on me.”

“We can get him back,” Skyfire said, vocalizer rough. “I can. I know I can.”

Ratchet sighed. “Look. Starscream was never really ours to begin with, technically. The healthiest thing to do here is let it go, and let it ride. As much as I enjoyed the kid, and had hopes that the mech he grew into wouldn’t be quite the same as the one before, we can’t sacrifice lives getting him back when he isn’t even at risk. He’s back with his own kind now.”

Skyfire’s entire frame shook as he looked at Ratchet with undisguised fury. It was an eerie thing to see on such a gentle mech’s face, especially after all the time they had spent together. 

“Starscream doesn’t belong to them anymore than you or I do. He only fell into their servos because I wasn’t there for him,” Skyfire’s vocalizer stuttered as he paused and then continued, voice a near whisper.

“If I had been there I could’ve protected him,” Skyfire said, optics big and sad. “He didn’t have anyone after me, he met his trine later. That made the difference, I’m sure.”

“You cannot blame yourself for the actions others made while you weren’t around. Accountability doesn’t work that way,” Ratchet said, drawing closer to place a soft servo on Skyfire’s upper arm.

“Look, you’ve done a good job pulling yourself together after a hell of a long time in the ice, and I know it isn’t fair and you’ve lost a lot. We can all say “everybody's lost someone” over 4 million years, but it isn’t the same. You were hit with 4 million years of loss seemingly overnight, you haven’t had the same time to deal with it,” Ratchet said, calm blue optics looking into Skyfire’s hazy coolant filled ones. 

“There was no staggering it out for you, and you’re strong, I know that, but no mech can handle this kind of thing all at once.”

“Star isn’t dead,” Bumblebee said, speaking up for the first time in a while. “He’s still around which means there’s still a chance for him to turn things around. Sure it’s unlikely, but I mean, how likely do you think he thought it was that they’d find you in the ice after 4 million years?”

Not likely, Skyfire knew. But he also knew that Starscream had still hoped, had still kept looking even though it was most likely futile and he didn’t know what the outcome would be.

Skyfire shook his helm and then nodded, not even sure really what he was agreeing with. Coolant pooled over and dripped off him some of it landing on the medical berth. He felt another servo come up onto his back and pat him. He didn’t need to look over to know it was Bee.

Skyfire tried to speak a time or two but found his vocalizer shuddering out. The three of them just sat in silence for a while as they let Skyfire grieve and parse through his emotions.

\---

Megatron in short, was somewhere between displeased at having his former second devolved into a wailing mess, and amused by the sight of the tiny flight frame. At his motion, Starscream was cautiously placed into his waiting servo and the tiny jet was hoisted up for Megatron’s observation.

Starscream responded to the manhandling by breaking his stunned quiet to let out a noise somewhere between a wail and a snarl, claws trying to swipe at whatever piece of Megatron was closest.

“So different, and yet just the same,” Megatron said with a low chuckle, amusement plain on his face and in his tone. There was an almost soft quality to his expression before he seemed to remember where he was and set Starscream back into Skywarp’s eager servos. He noted how Thundercracker’s wings slumped in relief and Skywarp hugged a now bawling Starscream close to him.

“We have the ability to manufacture a spare frame for Starscream with the same capabilities as his old one,” Megatron said, seriousness taking over him as everyone did their best to ignore Starscream’s indignant noises. Ignoring Starscream’s presence to proceed with business was a regular thing at the decepticon base, whether Starscream himself was big or small.

“It should be ready within a few cycles. I expect you two to carry out your normal duties and also attend to Starscream in the meantime, he is not to be left unattended while in this pitiable state. His spark regeneration ability requires further study, and promises enormous potential should it have the ability to be replicated.”

Thundercracker and Skywarp nodded. They were both just relieved that Megatron was taking Starscream’s setback in stride rather than extinguishing him on the spot, if that was even possible. Skywarp looked down at his teary trinemate who was sucking on his own digit at the moment, small whimpers still eeking out now and then.

“Understood sir,” Thundercracker answered for the both of them.

“Good, dismissed,” Megatron said. Skywarp allowed them a bow and a few steps away before he grabbed Thundercracker’s wrist and teleported them. It made his fuel tanks lurch after the amount he had been exerting himself today, but being back in their quarters alone as a whole (albeit more dysfunctional than usual) trine made it worth it.

Starscream started to pick up a wail again.

“I don’t think he likes being teleported Warp, the noise probably scares him,” Thundercracker said as he unsubspaced a rag to wipe at Starscream’s streaked face.

“Hey,” Skywarp said, looking down at the squirming dribbly mess that was tiny Starscream. “Do you feel right about this?”

“What, right about stealing our trinemate back from the autobots? I’ll sleep just fine Warp.”

“Not that,” skywarp said, pursing his lips as he glanced down at the shaking frame. “Lookit him, he looks so unhappy.”

Thundercracker sighed, picking up the tiny frame and holding it to him. Slowly the sobs quieted. Their bond was near nonexistent. Starscream’s processor probably lacked the capacity for it.

“He won’t be like this for long, Megatron has Shockwave working on building a frame to get him back to regular size and processor capability,” Thundercracker said, peering down at the small mech in his servos. Coolant tracks stained Starscream’s face and he sighed heavily as he scrubbed them from his face.

“He looks so harmless like this,” Skywarp said. “Let me hold him, he never lets me give him hugs when he’s normal sized.”

Wearily, Thundercracker passed the small frame to Skywarp.

“We could take him and run you know?” Skywarp said as he looked at Starscream’s angry distressed little optics and then Thundercracker’s tired resigned ones. 

“So in ten years when he has enough of a processor to understand what we’ve done he could murder us in our recharge? No thanks Warp,” Thundercracker said as he lay back on their berth.

“We both know this war isn’t going anywhere and we aren’t fighting for what we started out hoping to achieve,” Skywarp bounced Starscream on his knee a bit, earning him a tentative hiccup giggle. “There’s a good mech,” he cooed. Thundercracker cracked a smile.

“Why all this now Warp?” Thundercracker asked, turning to his trinemate to look at him uneasily.

Skywarp shrugged. “We lost Star and I realized that he was gone and it wasn’t worth it. It wasn’t for anything. I couldn’t even feel proud of what he died for. What if that happens again, but it’s for real this time?”

Thundercracker looked at the giggling miniature of his trinemate. He sighed. 

“We can’t just take this all away from him because it’s easy now. It’s was his choice to join, it should be his choice to leave.”

Skywarp looked at Starscream, smile faltering. “Yeah I know. But what about us? We don’t have to keep doing this, even if Star still wants to.”

“Warp we just got him back and you’re thinking about leaving him behind?” There was no admonishment in Thundercracker’s voice, just surprise.

“I don’t want to leave Star behind,” Skywarp mumbled indignantly, tucking the sparkling against him and stroking Starscream’s wings softly. “Just... what if Skyfire had it right, defecting?”

“Warp,” Thundercracker hissed. “You’ll get us killed for treason at this rate before Star is even back in his own processor.”

Skywarp sighed huffily and discontinued their discussion. But the topic lingered between them, unspoken and hanging heavy in the silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Righty-o we are kinda hitting the home stretch for this fic, where I can see somewhere in the run of 3-5 chapters left, one of which I've already written. So hooray for that! I had a lot of fun writing the action in this ch, hope you enjoyed lolol.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back, back again
> 
> screm is back
> 
> tell a fren

“A few cycles” ended up being one, as the next morning Skywarp and Thundercracker were requested to bring Starscream to Shockwave’s lab after morning refuel.

Starscream hadn’t slept well. He had constantly been clutching at his processor and wailing throughout the night, to the point where both Thundercracker and Skywarp were severely lacking in their recharge as well. Starscream had only settled down very late into the wee hours of the morning, and had recharged fitfully from then on.

Their tiny trinemate was unhappy at being roused so early, and he glared blearily at everyone they passed in the halls. As they sat down with their cubes in the refueling area, they were approached by Astrotrain, his enormous bulk casting a looming shadow over the three of them.

Starscream looked up from drinking Skywarp’s cube to hiss weakly at him, before deciding it wasn’t worth the effort and continuing his meal.

“So it is true what they say, Screamer’s alive and tiny,” Astrotrain murmured in wonder, his massive frame looming over both Skywarp and Thundercracker, as well as the seekerling in their grip.

“Not for long,” Skywarp said ominously as he shifted a squirming Starscream in his servos. “So don’t get too used to the quiet.”

As if to punctuate his point Starscream let out an angry defensive shriek as another mech jostled by behind them. The mech, someone by the name of Breakdown, startled a bit before looking down, optics widening at the sight of the diminutive air commander. 

It wasn’t long before the elite trine found themselves crowded in by a slew of battle hardened decepticons laughing and trying to do something approximating a coo at their tiny former air commander. 

“That’s Screamer?” wheezed Dirge between frantic bouts of laughter, his optics bordering on leaking coolant in his mirth. “No way.”

“Why’re his optics blue,” Someone rumbled in a tone that was ambiguously threatening.

“Primus has reborn him again,” Sunstorm murmured eerily somewhere in the background. “It’s an omen.”

Starscream himself let go a few more audial piercing shrieks which only saw fit to send the crowd into further bouts of hysterics. Finally as Skywarp felt the tiny frame in his servos practically vibrating in indignation, he clasped Thundercracker’s wing and warped them out into the hallway a few feet from Shockwave’s lab entrance. 

He felt Starscream settle as he groped for Thundercracker’s cube when the mech went to take a sip from it. Distractedly Thundercracker traded his cube for Skywarp’s and permitted Starscream his sip.

Skywarp was watching him intently, an almost undetectable tremble to his lip as he stared at their tiny trineleader. Thundercracker grimaced as he could practically feel the sentimentality rolling off Skywarp in tangible waves as his trinemate looked at him longingly. He knew the question without it being put to words. 

“Well, we should get on with this then,” Thundercracker said, gesturing in the general direction of Shockwave’s lab, because yeah, he didn’t know how to handle what remained unspoken between them. And a part of him, regrettably, was too afraid to try.

Skywarp looked down at Starscream and then back at Thundercracker, pleadingly.

“TC, I don’t know,” He began, but at the sound of his voice, the lab door opened and Shockwave came out, his sudden appearance causing Skywarp to stumble back a step. The scientist motioned to them impatiently.

“Come and give it here, I have only a small time frame to run this procedure today otherwise I’ll fall behind,” Shockwave said in a monotone that still managed to effectively convey both this exhaustion and disdain for dealing with this situation, and his impatience. For a mech with no face, he could be so expressive when it suited him.

Nervously, Skywarp shot one last look to Thundercracker, who nodded. Skywarp looked down at his small trinemate, at the tiny blue optics that gazed up at him. He appeared to be in the throes of a processor ache, tiny servos gripping at his help and small frame shuddering.

Skywarp looked back up at Shockwave, “Is this procedure safe?”

Shockwave’s single optic stared at him as if that was the single most irrelevant question in the world. Which. Well….

“Safe as a normal spark transfer I suppose. Though it is unclear what sort of intelligence or faculties Starscream will have access to in a fully competent frame, and how quickly he will regain those capabilities that he does not immediately have,” Shockwave said, approaching with his claws outstretched, grasping for Starscream.

Skywarp cuddled the small jet to his side one last time before, with a last wistful look, he passed Starscream over to Shockwave. Starscream looked back at them, expression plain with bewilderment and fear as Shockwave quickly strode away back into his lab. Skywarp hadn’t even known a sparkling could look betrayed, but leave it to Starscream to pull it off. A small wail was cut off as the door shut again.

“Warp,” Thundercracker started, but before he could continue his trinemate had vanished with a single scathing look and a flash of his warp drive.

\---

Starscream onlined to his processor feeling like it had been cleaved in two. If his memories recalled, he had been feeling like that off and on for days now. Or had it been weeks. He groaned as his thoughts frizzled to a halt as a pulsing wave of pain rolled through his helm. Coolant involuntarily beaded to his optics and spilled over.

His memories were hazy and disorienting, he had no clue how to make heads or tails of the confusing assault of sensory input that washed over him when he tried to browse the data logs of the last few weeks. It only served to agitate the ache in his helm worse, so he hurriedly closed them.

“Ah, Starscream, you’ve returned,” Shockwave’s cool monotone greeted him. He started at the voice and began to focus on his environment. Being at Shockwave’s mercy did not bode well and was probably an indicator something severe had come to pass.

“Returned from slagging where?” he snarled as he watched multicolored bursts of static color his vision and more pain rocketed through his helm. “Can you shut that light off, it’s fragging up my processor.”

The lights of the room, surprisingly, were dimmed. The pain lessened, reduced to a low thrumming in the back of his helm. He had been hunching himself up in pain and as the stimulus dimmed he found himself relaxing out of his defensive pose.

“Primus,” Starscream uttered under his breath as he took a shaky, relieved intake. “What happened?”

“You seem to have been near offlined,” A deep rumbling voice came from somewhere to his left. Where were they? Starscream tried to squint through hazy optics in the murky room. Surely not the medbay if things were this quiet and Hook was nowhere to be seen.

“Offlined,” Starscream repeated, trying to take in the information as he struggled to parse the sensory information around him. The room smelled much more chemical than he remembered the medbay ever having done. The reality struck him cold and hard as Megatron’s voice answered him.

He was in Shockwave’s lab. Primus did that ever not bode well. He quickly ran a systems check to see what had changed. It appeared he had undergone a full system reset from the ground up, none of his usual settings, his calibrations, something- no everything- was off.

“In battle you were apparently targeted by a blast that destroyed your frame,” Megatron skipped over the fact that it had been friendly fire, not having the patience to deal with an enraged Starscream accusing him of attempted murder in this particular moment.

“Then how-,” Starscream started, but Shockwave continued, ignoring him.

“Your spark appeared to have regenerated your frame to its most basic form,” Shockwave supplied as if that was supposed to help him.

“Basic form? Can you stop speaking in half sentences and explain to me what the frag happened,” Starscream snarled, clutching his helm even tighter as a rush of pain pierced through his helm. The pulse was accompanied by flashes of memories, clips of sound, a soft, low tone-

“Your spark regenerated you into a sparkling and your frame was then co-opted by the autobot faction. We have no record of what went on while you were there, but nothing of note seemed to have happened.”

“Nothing of note besides kidnapping,” Starscream muttered, servos rubbing tight little circles in his helm as frustration roiled through him. He was well aware he was only getting fed half detailed and convenient truths and with his processor only partially functioning he didn’t have the deductive skills to figure out where the important gaps in the story were at the moment.

A ghost of a touch reached out somewhere in his processor. He jolted slightly, confused at the foreign touch, before he recognized the distantly familiar sensation, and the sense of an old presence with him. Ah. His trine. 

“Star?” Thundercracker’s cautious tone gently prodded him.

“I’m in Shockwave’s lab and they’re being cryptic as pit about what happened to me,” Starscream all but shouted irritably over the bond.

“We can explain it to you later,” Thundercraker affirmed, inflection calm and soothing. It was nice to hear his trinemate’s voice again, even if it made his processor ache even worse than it already was.

“Your mental faculties may be limited for a while and we are unsure of how quickly or how fully you will recover,” Shockwave’s monotone droned on. Starscream struggled to process his words for a moment.

“Limited,” he said lowly, before shrieking the word, “Limited! What have you-.”

“Starscream, control yourself,” Megatron’s impatient admonishing rumble sounded from somewhere in the room. “You have been revealed to possess a powerful gift.”

“An irregular spark,” Shockwave joined in like the unpleasant little sleaze he was. His interest and the way he looked at Starscream so intently with his one optic made him want to slink down in his frame and disappear from view. 

Starscream had known. It hadn’t been a secret per se, but he’d never seen the point of letting others in on the fact that he healed supernaturally fast because of an outlier ability. Leaving it vague meant it added to his mystique, which in turn added to his intimidation factor. It also meant that it was one more weapon he had in his pocket should Megatron ever decide to try and offline him.

But now, now that his spark had been seen to have extreme regenerative capabilities, a part of Starscream dreaded to think of what exactly Megatron had in mind for him. 

“I see,” Starscream bit out the two words tersely as he tried to tamp down the rising swell of panic within himself.

“This is a momentous opportunity for our cause Starscream, from here on out, you will forfeit normal duties to report to Shockwave so that he can study your spark irregularity.”

“Ah so in my absence I have been relegated from esteemed second in command to an invalid,” Starscream sneered, lip curling to reveal his fangs as he glared at Megatron with as much malice as he could muster. Which wasn’t as much as he’d like, considering his frame was inhabited with a strut deep sense of exhaustion and a part of his processor seemed intent on slipping into recharge.

“Cease your theatrics, you are as important to the cause as you ever were, if not more now. You have merely been repurposed.”

“As a lab rat,” Starscream deadpanned. Fatigued as he was, being disagreeable was second nature and there was no way he was going to let his pride become as injured as the rest of him.

“As someone serving where they are best suited for the greater good,” Megatron replied, low growl starting to pervade his words as his patience ran short. He had forgotten what it was to deal with Starscream on a daily basis.

“Greater good,” Starscream snorted. “Let’s be frank, this whole ordeal-” He gestures vaguely to the room at large. “Hasn’t been about the greater good for a long while and we both know it.”

“Starscream,” Megatron rumbled, a threatening purr rising up from deep within his chassis. “I will give you leeway on your lack of self control as I understand you are recovering. But I suggest you quell your traitorous tongue if you would like your recovery to continue smoothly.”

“Ah, Mighty Megatron, threatening the injured. Should’ve rid yourself of me while you had the opportunity to do so easily,” Starscream sneered with a smile that was all fangs.

“Enough of this. Shockwave, feel free to start your first trial,” Megatron snapped, rising as he tried to conceal his fury at Starscream’s goading. Half drugged and barely cogent, his former air commander still knew the quickest way to turn his mood sour.

Some things never change.

\---

Over the next few days Starscream began returning to them looking like a shell of his former self. Sure, they had seen him unwell in the past. Megatron and his brawls had left him a nearly offlined wreckage before.

But this was different. The way the experiments took their toll was in a much more slow, subtle, and meticulous manner.

They received brief but sharp flashes of agony through the bond on occasion, but or the most part Starscream had regained his iron tight control on their mental connection, and was able to spare them from sharing his pain. It was a tactic he had quickly mastered from the beginning of their bond when he learned that he could either learn to control his mouth, or learn to meter his negative feedback through their bond. Obviously he chose the easier path. 

Like always, shutting his trinemates off from his side of the bond only served to heighten their concern.

Thundercracker noticed how his servos shook picking up his energon cube at morning fuel, despite his being a unique but supposedly nourishing concoction mixed by Shockwave.

“This isn’t much better than thinking he was lobotomized by the Autobots,” Skywarp hissed lowly to Thundercracker as Starscream retreated from view, off to do his daily duties at Shockwave’s lab. “We don’t even have to guess whether he’s suffering now, we know it. And we’re just sitting here, watching it happen.”

Thundercracker didn’t respond, only gripped his cube tighter as he pursed his lips. 

It wasn’t hard to see how Starscream’s frame listed with exhaustion, and how his “special assignments” in the lab keeping him from regular flight missions were starting to weigh on him. He was tired, he was twitchy, and he was quiet.

A concerning trio.

He had noticed something else as well. Sometimes a peculiar longing, a sense of homesickness similar to something the three of them had at one time shared for Vos, appeared in the bond. He didn’t ask, Primus knows with Starscream’s constantly volatile moods and fragile physical state it was an incredibly bad idea to upset him further. 

But still, Thundercracker couldn’t help but be reminded of how the bond had felt when Skyfire had first defected. Though these emotions seemed much less tinged with anger, hurt, and resentment. They seemed to be something much closer to melancholic longing. 

Thundercracker pushed his speculations on the emotions he felt through the bond aside as he watched Starscream pick yet another fight with Megatron over his duty assignments after their meeting had concluded for the day. Starscream was still permitted to attend, Thundercracker supposed, as some sort of empty gesture to soothe his smarting ego.

He wasn’t allowed on flight exercises, and more disturbingly he seemed to have less and less energy each time he tried to petition Megatron for an off-base assignment that would let him have access to his altmode. So maybe this was all just some feeble attempt to pretend he had dignity left.

Starscream, of course, wasn’t buying it.

“Too high risk,” He snarled, gripping his datapad between his servos at yet another rejection, glaring up angrily at his leader. “It’s humorous how my safety is only your priority when you’ve somehow also managed to make it an inconvenience.”

Megatron doesn’t bother responding, optics flashing with a dull sort of irritation and it’s with a slow moving swat that Starscream normally would have dodged with practiced ease, that the ailing former air commander is sent sprawling to the floor.

Shame and fury warred on Starscream’s face as he struggled to pull himself off the floor. Megatron looked at him with surprise and concern. Concern for Starscream, it was most likely not. 

Thundercracker and Skywarp were at his side, easing him to his pedes. 

“What’s wrong with you?” Megatron demanded, staring at the strained, wan expression that lay under Starscream’s thin veneer of posturing and bluster. 

“Why don’t you ask the ingrate you authorized to experiment with my spark,” Starscream snarled, denta bared and optics glowing luminously before they dimmed down and Starscream slumped into his trine’s grip even more so than before.

“Take him to Hook,” Megatron commanded, before quickly turning away and stalking out of the room.

They carry him there and while Starscream is the smallest of the three of them, he was also practically dead weight. His pedes scraped noisily along the floor as they walked.

“Megatron had a good question, what is wrong with you Starscream?” Skywarp prodded as they rounded a corner. He grunted as he tried to shift Starscream’s weighty bulk to not bear down so heavily on his shoulder plating. Starscream looked irritated at being jostled.

“What do you think? Shockwave’s tampering with my spark like it’s one of his expendable test subjects.”

“Why aren’t you fighting back? It isn’t like you to just sit and let Megatron designate you as Shockwave’s pets,” Thundercracker said bluntly.

“Fight back,” Starscream said and then laughed hollowly. “For what? What purpose?”

“What did they fragging do to your processor?” Skywarp asked, stunned at the unfamiliar tone of resignation in Starscream’s voice. Not even in the most dire situations had he heard that kind of note to Starscream’s voice. It was a sound that spoke of no more options, or at least, no more will to try.

And that unsettled Skywarp to hear.

“Nobody did anything to me bar Shockwave trying to goad my spark into an early extinguishing,” Starscream muttered. “You know what I used to do before this war?”

“You were a scientist,” Skywarp supplied, unsure of where this was going.

“I was a scientist. And then I joined the war and I was a soldier. Then I was an air commander. And now that I can’t fly, can barely hold my cube in the morning, and my processor is fragged half to pit in the aftermath of whatever the pit Shockwave is trying to accomplish...,” Starscream’s helm snapped to look at Skywarp, cocking itself slightly. “What am I now?”

“You’re Starscream,” Thundercracker said resolutely, shifting his grip on Starscream to pull him up higher, high enough that he could almost pretend to be standing on his own. “You survive, that’s what you do now.”

He thinks Starscream almost smiles at that.

\---

The diagnosis from Hook is not good. Starscream’s spark, unsurprisingly, is unstable. The unofficial diagnosis is to halt the experiments. But of course Hook isn’t going to formally tell that to Megatron himself. He just looks at Starscream with an emotion vaguely resembling pity, scratches at the side of his helm and says:

“Well you’ll last a lot longer if you get Shockwave to knock off whatever the pit he’s been doing to your spark as of late.”

“It’s pouring enriched energon directly onto my spark this week,” Starscream sighs heavily.

“Primus,” Hook breathes under his breath.

After a long, awkward stretch of silence, Hook clears his intake to speak again, “Well… I’m afraid I can’t do much to improve your condition on the books. No prescription of extra iron is going to fix this.”

“I get it,” Starscream cuts him off raising his servo. “Talk to Megatron to argue whether I’ve been consigned to death. You’ve made that quite clear, thank you.”

“To be honest,” Hook grunted as Starscream started to rise off the medical berth. “I don’t like you, I think you’re an irritable glitch who makes my job that much harder with all the sorry sparks you send down here on a regular basis.”

Starscream doesn’t bother to respond as his pedes tap down on the floor.

“But it’s not right,” the sentence gives Starscream pause, and he turns to face the medic, hips cocked, expression questioning.

“You not being air commander. Not that I’m one to meddle, but I don’t think this,” Hook gestures vaguely to Starscream’s frame. “Is what you were intended for, and I don’t appreciate Shockwave’s test subjects becoming part of my workload. That’s all.”

“Thanks Hook, your insight is astounding as usual,” Starscream snarks and he’s only being mostly insincere.

As it turns out, Starscream for the moment doesn’t even have to negotiate with Megatron on the subject of the experiments. The result of Megatron’s interrogation with Shockwave and his review of the scientist’s notes was that Starscream was put on rest for a week and the scientist would be limited to experiments that Megatron himself had approved. Still no flying or missions outside the base, of course. But at least they would be offlining him a little slower. Joy.

Starscream drifts into fitful recharge that night, back in the same room as his trine, and that at least, is its own sort of relief.

He can tell something’s changed in his absence, he always had wondered to himself how Thundercracker and Skywarp would get along without him. Thundercracker seemed slightly more ill at ease, but the mech was often discomforted by the ongoing affairs of their faction, so perhaps that was nothing extraordinary.

Skywarp however…. A small, very small, and hidden part of Starscream delighted in the increased amounts of affection from his trinemate, as much as a part of him feels guilty about how Skywarp seems to have sobered a bit in his absence. Skywarp seemed to be intent on touching him whenever he deemed acceptable, sticking close by him when they had overlapping free hours. It was like Skywarp thought he might evaporate into open space again, which, giving the course of Shockwave’s experiments lately, might not be a far off guess from reality.

\---

“Listen Starscream,” Skywarp said suddenly as they were huddled together over morning fuel. “There’s an energon raid coming up tomorrow.”

“Warp,” Thundercracker cuts in, seeming to have already been privy to this plan and having made up his mind he disapproved of it..

“And,” Skywarp continued, ignoring Thundercracker’s glare, “I was thinking TC and I could make a distraction and you could slip off base for a bit.”

“It’s a terrible idea,” Thundercracker interjected again, frowning at his trinemate.

“It’s a fantastic idea, TC. Come on Star it can’t be helping your processor recover any faster if you haven’t flown in what, several months at this point, right? I don’t even know how you’re still functional,” Skywarp said with a grimace. 

“Not all of us have the mental fortitude of a rust stick Warp,” Thundercracker sniped, before turning to face his trineleader seriously. “Starscream it’s a bad idea.”

Starscream’s face seemed to light up at the phrase he had heard numerous times before and Thundercracker sighed heavily knowing his uphill battle against irrationality had been lost. 

“I think it’s an excellent idea, Skywarp, do you already have a distraction in mind?” Skywarp bobbed his helm eagerly and grinned, and Starscream beamed right back. 

Months ago he really couldn’t have imagined goading on one of Skywarp’s poorly thought out schemes, but now? He was practically crawling up the walls being cooped up inside the base, and what did he have to lose? His reputation? His titles? All discarded on a whim by Megatron’s orders. 

What did he stand to gain? Freedom for a few brief hours, the chance to get back in touch with his alt mode, oh and best of all, Megatron’s ire.

Thundercracker was staring at him worriedly as Starscream came to the realization he was grinning like a madmech at the idea and he realized he was feeling more like himself than he’d felt in ages. 

“Just,” Thundercracker heaved another long suffering sigh. “Don’t get yourself exploded again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I don't have much of an excuse for how long this took except: long story hard, porn writing fun, and ive also started like... 4 other long fics so RIP.
> 
> But for a real answer, the story kinda majorly shifts gears in this chapter so I spent along time just kinda thinking about what would go into it to kinda set the change up appropriately, so this ch was slow bc I was agonizing lmao.
> 
> Also I'll say this like 5 million times but, if you dont like something and have some constructive crit for me, let me know. I wanna know if I've made a story less engaging for you somehow or something. Maybe we won't agree and maybe I wont end up changing something, but it will at least give me shit to keep in mind or think about....


	6. Chapter 6

“We have to time this or we’re certainly going to be offlined,” Skywarp said, nervousness tinting his tone. Thundercracker nodded. They were together in Shockwave’s lab, a curious amount of computers and datapads lying all around them, some with blinking screens and flashing buttons. Thundercracker thought for a moment about trying to find what they needed just by looking through the datapads and computer. However, the terrifying thought of setting off an alarm and having to reattempt their sabotage after Shockwave caught wind and upped his lab security, led him to disregard the notion.

The two of them stood together in awkward silence for a moment, the weight of what they were about to attempt smothering them. The room felt claustrophobic to Skywarp and one of his wings twitched anxiously.

“Having second thoughts?” Thundercracker’s voice was calm and the question was free of judgement. He himself was having second thoughts, of course he was. He’d had them all through the night after Skywarp had pulled him aside and told him of his plan.

“Only worried about Starscream, I suppose. This might all go terribly wrong, for all three of us,” Skywarp said, looking at Thundercracker as if he expected the blue mech to start talking him out of it.

“I know.”

“And it’s my idea, which almost guarantees it’s a bad one,” Skywarp tacked on, a shaky grin spreading across his face as he spoke.

Thundercracker returned the grin with a tentative smile.It helped calm his nerves somewhat. “I’m aware. Open the portal.”

Skywarp nodded, throwing a last glance at Thundercracker before he did so. An eerie purple light filled the room and the two of them looked at it wonderingly for a moment. Skywarp didn’t usually manifest his powers outside himself as it made both him and the teleport a massive target. Thundercracker always forgot how eerily beautiful it was, a swirling vortex of purple, the surface of it calm and placid, inviting.

A few seconds later a shattering crack exploded through the lab, destroying several millennia of carefully managed projects, equipment, drives, datapads and more. The crack of a warp drive closing the portal after them was largely overshadowed by the tinkling of glass and metal shrapnel as it landed in a gentle sort of rain about the lab.

All that was left in their wake was wreckage and blaring alarms on what was a mostly vacant ship.

“Starscream, you’re clear,” Thundercracker called over the bond. Starscream had been listening for the approval sign, and once he got it he moved to action, giddy eagerness welling up in his spark.

With a running start Starscream threw himself among the mass of bodies exiting the ship and leapt out into open air, transforming rapidly and shooting off before anyone could call out to him or report him. 

It felt like some part of him long submerged and detached from himself had snapped back into place, a sort of mental clarity dominated his processor as his circuits sung and hummed with the revelry of flight. As he broke through the atmosphere of Earth, he found himself welcomed by the liveliness of the air around him. Wind was whipping, and distantly below him dark clouds swirled with the promise of a chaotic battle ahead.

He found himself corkscrewing through the air as he shot off away from the trajectory of battle for a few moments to enjoy the feeling of flight a bit longer. He embraced the easy movement the sky afforded him, the control, the freedom, a moment more. Then he turned back to the task at hand. Starscream realized that he had, for the first time in almost three million years, not one single clue what their goal on the battlefield was today.

He was usually a key player in these sort of things, but ever since he’d been relegated to the role of lab rat, he’d also been cut out of the planning meetings for raids. As Starscream approached the battleground, he realized that the only objective he really had was to fight.

It brought a fluttering feeling to his tanks, it was like being a fresh recruit again. He was not aware of what the larger groundswell of their cause was heading towards, he was only aware that he was being swept along with the rising force of their movement. His force, his weight, would bear down among many others in the crashing turbulence of their battle. It made him feel small, and in that same instance, it also made him feel powerful.

The sky over their designated target, an energon mine contentiously close to several large human population centers, was grey and gloomy. It held the promise of muddling the battle further, and as he regrouped and descended with his faction through the clouds, light sprinkles started to descend with them.

The fight was already in full swing, the dirt on which they all stood rapidly turning to mud as masses of Autobots and Decepticons alike writhed together in the same grasping sort of struggle they’d been trapped in for millennia. Starscream landed heavily and started swinging. He’d never regained his nullrays since his pseudo death. Primus knew he would have shot Shockwave in the spark several times over had he gotten the chance.

So it was with his own two servos that he met his enemies, an eager, overly easy sort of brutality rising up to greet him like an old friend. This is what he remembered all the time ago, the throbbing pulse of rage in his spark. The indistinct blurr of Autobot red indicating his next prey. It’s bliss to be detached from caring, from having to struggle under the weight of choice. Somewhere distantly in the back of his processor, he can feel a part of him looking, searching the faces of those he attacks, looking for any source of familiarity.

But there is none, so he continues on with ease.

Then, in a flash one of them gets him, cutting him heavily in the side with some sort of energon blade or axe, he doesn’t remember which. The rain is coming down harder now, the battlefield is dreary, and his assailant either underestimated his resilience or never intended to strike a killing blow to begin with, an all too common trait among the Autobots. They move off with the rest of the battle, leaving his area desolate and quiet except for the groans of a few stray wounded mecha.

Starscream drug himself for cover and that’s how he finds himself in a wooded area, leaning against a tree. The bleeding at his side is bad, but not critical. It hurt quite a bit though, and so Starscream allowed himself some weakness as he rested against a tree, idly scraping at its bark with a finger.

It was a while before he came out of his daze to stare down at the crumbled figure of a mech beneath him. The rain had started pouring down in earnest now and the battlefield was a dismal soup of dirt and Starscream could feel the sludge working itself into his thrusters in ways that would take hours to get out later.

Still, curiosity and the odd morbid pull of something familiar about the crumpled frame in front of him, drew Starscream closer. As he came nearer, the frame and coloring became more defined and he realized he was staring at the slumped frame of the most infamous medic belonging to the Autobot faction.

Starscream’s processor was, perhaps, just as fragged up as Megatron had always claimed it to be. In almost no time at all it was pulling a one eighty from its previous bloodlust and as he looked at Ratchet’s heavily damaged frame, he realized he- 

Oh frag. He was growing a conscience. The little part of him he thought had withered up and died millions of years ago was back and it ached. His tank felt the same way it did whenever he watched someone land an especially good blow on Skywarp or Thundercracker, only this time there was no bond to aid it along. Starscream was hit with the heavy assurance that yes, there was something terribly, extraordinarily wrong with him.

He looked at Ratchet again, the medic bloody and disoriented, and now that he looked closer it appeared his pede half hanging off and he felt bad. Ratchet he could remember uncomfortably clearly, had held him when he was sick with that fever and stayed up with him through his headaches when Skyfire was too tired or worn out and-

Doomed, he was doomed because in his short little stint as a bitlet he had apparently imprinted on the likes of Ratchet the world’s most caustic mech to ever stitch a frame back together. A part of him, a very small, but very loud squalling part of him just wouldn’t let him do it.

He couldn’t just take off and leave him there and he couldn’t just finish things even if it was an Autobot.

Starscream sighed, the longest, most put upon, drawn out sigh. His shoulders slumped in defeat as he knelt down and picked Ratchet up. Or tried to. The mech was beyond heavy and Starscream doubted he would be able to get far with his own injuries. He wasn’t even sure if he could make it back to base with the amount of energon he’d lost before his healing nanites had staunched the wound. At least it gave him an excuse of some sort for a very small part of this apparent flight of madness.

He resigned to dragging him. He dragged the dirty, scuffed up and bleeding Autobot medic, ignoring it when he scraped against him on occasion, shutting out the fact that he was slowly getting wet and dirty himself, and that he was making a perfect little trail to set up for him and Ratchet getting attacked.

“Optimus?” Ratchet stirred as Starscream set him down gently to take a minute to recover.

“If you can walk, just lean on me, this will go faster,” Starscream said as he bent down to loop an arm under Ratchet and hoist him up again. Ratchet grunted and Starscream saw his injured pede twitch and the wince that followed.

“Don’t put weight on your right pede,” Starscream said, trying to lower his voice to a gravely unrecognizable pitch. “Just walk.”

“Scream?” Ratchet said, and he must have been out of it because there wasn’t a hint of trepidation or anger in his tone. There’s even an odd flavor of familiarity Starscream found himself caught off guard by. “What are you doing here?”

Starscream’s spark seized at the returning clarity in Ratchet’s voice. It was hard enough to deal with him unconscious, let alone coherent.

“I’m not taking you hostage so there’s no need to fight me,” Starscream said preemptively, small snarl slipping into place on his face as he looked down on the hobbled medic with mild disgust. He really didn’t feel like wrestling around in the mud with an injured medic he still had unsorted feelings about. Speaking of unsorted feelings. 

“I’m not worried about your motives, for once actually,” Ratchet said and Starscream could hear the smile in his voice.

“Don’t get too friendly Autobot, I could still end you,” Starscream tried to growl, but it came out more like a half-hearted whine.

Ratchet laughed wheezily, exhaustion and stress tinting his tone, “If you were gonna do that, you would have done it before you dragged me how far, a mile? Five?”

“You have a capture not kill,” Starscream muttered defensively as if that meant anything. Decepticons were known for being stupidly ruthless and a capture not kill command would maybe be helpful in an army where more than 30% of the recruits could read.

“So is that where we’re going right now? Back to Megatron? That’s why you’re dragging me instead of comming for backup?”

Starscream cursed at Ratchet’s perceptiveness. The medic smirked, he looked alive and like himself for a moment, before seemingly remembering his pede as Starscream accidentally knocked against it dragging him and he winced.

“Easy there, it’s going to fall off if you don’t watch it,” Ratchet said, voice tight with pain. Starscream looked down at him, at his drawn and uncomfortable face, and sighed heavily. He doubted things could get much worse for himself at this point.

He was wrong. 

Apparently at some point during their walk, while Starscream was deep in thought, warring with himself over the logic of his decision, Ratchet had commed their coordinates to Optimus. Through the haze of the downpour he made out the massive bulk of the convoy approaching them. He couldn’t see much in the gloom but he heard the surprise in his voice.

“Starscream? Ratchet?”

“I am returning your medic as I see I owe your faction a favor considering you did not blast me to scrap when I was otherwise disposed,” Starscream said, voice coming out strained as he quietly willed the mech leaning on him heavily to not contradict him. As often was the case, Starscream did not get what he wanted.

“His spark’s gotten too soft to shoot us anymore, Op” Ratchet laughed deliriously and Starscream wanted to be angry but he found himself worrying about the amount of energon the mech had oozed during their walk. Or, well, drag.

“Take him,” Starscream was half begging as he looked at the larger mech. He had better not have seen amusement flash in Optimus’ optics.

“The Ark is just a short distance away, I would appreciate it if you could-,” Optimus started and Starscream had the feeling he was smiling behind that stupid looking battle mask of his.

“No. Pit no. I am not going back to that pit of a ship so you can….” Starscream faltered. What did he think they were going to do? Every bad thing they could’ve or would’ve done lay splayed out before him in the form of his current memories.

It occurred to him that he didn’t want to go back because he was afraid of what he would do, rather than what any Autobot would do.

“I don’t want to go back,” he said in a small voice, finally. It sounded stupid and childish and wounded and he hated himself for that.

“Star,” Ratchet breathed heavily in his audial, intake juddery and concerning in a way that made his spark seize uncomfortably. “I’m bleeding out half my tank here, just take me to the Ark, get some fuel and jet off. That’s it.”

Slowly he nodded and they walked forward together. Optimus kept stride with them but didn’t say anything. Even though Starscream wasn’t looking at him directly he could feel his optics on him. 

“Oh Primus, the shock is really starting to die off now,” Ratchet said, letting out a wheezy chuckle. 

“Why are we doing this?” Starscream said in a flat monotone. 

“I dunno, why are we? As far as I am concerned you could’ve left me in the mud at any point in the past hour and gone shooting home to Megatron,” Ratchet said, and he was ugly. It was ugly how smug and how warm his optics looked. It brought out ugly soft, mushy things that had begun to molder away in Starscream’s frame the moment he had hatched a second time. Maybe some factory settling had become misaligned, or some critical circuit blown.

“But you didn’t did you?”

Starscream’s scowl deepened. 

Sure, he could have left Ratchet with Optimus. He could’ve left there and gone back to the Nemesis. But that would mean he wouldn’t know. He would lie awake, hoping that he was okay, and searching him out during battles hoping to catch a glimpse just like with Skyfire-

He was tired of that. Of being separated from the things and mecha he cared about in sacrifice for a cause he didn’t. The realization hit him so heavily Starscream paused in his step a moment brow furrowed in thought, before it smoothed out at the simple truth that dawned on him.

“I remember you,” Starscream said. And that was all he said, and the rest went unspoken.

“I knew you would,” Ratchet said, and what a load of scrap it was that he could look that pleased about it.

“Why did you help me that night I had the fever?” 

“I’m a doctor my duty is-,” Ratchet began, but they both knew what he was saying was a load of scrap.

“I had a processor ache from incumbent memories and a fever from some Primus forsaken bug going around and you stayed up the whole night with me, singing lullabies. That’s beyond medical treatment for a member of an opposing faction,” Starscream spat, feeling disgusted at himself at the warmth that crawled through his frame at the memory. He could almost feel it again, the gentle servos on his back, the calm voice whispering into his audial.

“I’m old Starscream, and sometimes the slightest bit idealistic. Maybe,” Ratchet coughed and there was a dribble of energon that came out of his intake when he did so. “Maybe, I just wanted to think things could be different.”

“Can they?” The question is small, tinged with vulnerability, and so quiet Ratchet almost doesn’t catch it. But he does.

“Yeah, yeah things can always be different, you don’t fight a war for 4 million years if you don’t believe that,” Ratchet says, and that’s all he says. They walk on in the pouring rain, pedes slogging through the mud.

When Starscream gets to the Ark there’s a jumble of bots that hurry over at the sight of Ratchet. Starscream finds himself freed of the weight and incredulous and suspicious looks are thrown his way but nothing is actually said to him. Surprisingly, no blows are exchanged, no guns pointed at him. Ratchet is herded away, his comrades and friends fussing over him the whole way. 

Starscream hugs himself and rubs a bit at his own plating, feeling now more than ever, the outside damp creeping into his systems. He turns so he can get some clearing to take off, but the sound of Optimus’ voice stops him.

“Starscream,” he says. Starscream doesn’t turn around, but he pauses.

“We were going to offer you the chance to defect, had your trine not retrieved you before you were returned to your normal faculties.”

“Very generous of you Prime, but I am afraid we both know where my allegiances lie,” Starscream monotones. Or he tries at least, he can still hear the edge of hysteria in his own voice, and he hopes to Primus that Optimus can’t.

“I’m not as sure of that today, as I might’ve been before,” Optimus rumbles and Starscream doesn’t dare look back because he knows Optimus is probably wearing that stupid look of hopefulness he’s seen countless times but never directed at him in particular.

“Goodbye, Prime,” Starscream says. He hears someone heavy coming out of the Ark, but pays them no mind as he gets ready to transform. He takes off and it goes well for about five seconds until he hears the sound of thrusters igniting and before he can really even process that, a much larger, heavier frame slams him down back into the mud.

Snarling and trying to claw his way out of the sickening grime, Starscream scored a few scratches in his assailant before realizing the metal was white and he looked up startled to see Skyfire looking down at him.

Droplets of energon started to well in some of the gouges and there was that stupid feeling again. 

“Skyfire,” Starscream says indifferently, looking anywhere but actually at Skyfire. 

Skyfire doesn’t respond.

“Well?” Starscream said, but he didn’t dare actually face the mech in front of him. He didn’t want to see it. He didn’t want to see the hatred and disgust and hurt. But the silence went on and it slowly the pressure grew and grew until Starscream snapped his optics up to Skyfire’s.

He was crying of course. Because that was how Skyfire primarily fought. Not with fists, or harsh words, or a show of power. He just had feelings and he made you aware of them. And the pit forsaken wretch that Starscream was, he cared. He cared what every single one of those feelings was.

So he finds himself getting up out of the mud to sit in Skyfire’s lap and he tries to wipe away at a trail of coolant on Skyfire’s face but only manages to leave a smear of mud on it.

“Didn’t think that one through,” he mutters under his breath, before looking Skyfire in his brilliantly blue optics and starting in on his rant.

“You are so unbelievably stupid,” Starscream said. “Incompetent, useless, clueless, soft-sparked piece of scrap. That’s you Skyfire.”

Skyfire wasn’t looking at him. He was staring down at his servos looking miserable and burnt out. Starscream barreled on.

“And since you are such an unfortunate, helpless fragger, I guess, I Starscream, someday future leader of the Autobots, will have to protect you.”

Skyfire looked up at him, dumbfounded. 

“Is that a loose threat to assassinate Optimus?” Skyfire asked, throwing a cautious side glance to where Optimus stood, a few paces away. He had backed off to give them privacy but he was still very well within earshot.

“Assassination, forced retirement, we have time to work out the details,” Starscream said airily. Then promptly found himself crushed back into the mud with a pair of servos wrapped around him. 

“Can I kiss you? I want to kiss you,” Skyfire said, face inches from his.

“Kissing your superior officer is-,” Starscream was cut off by a pair of lips on his. He felt himself relaxing, melting into the grip. He felt warm and protected and loved and-

He broke off the kiss, “Skyfire, it’s been 4 million years, this has to be like kissing a stranger.”

Skyfire scratched at the side of his helm sheepishly, “More like kissing an old friend. I feel like I just saw you yesterday, but you aged a few thousand millenia overnight.”

“That is… an apt perspective yes,” Starscream said, looking away for a moment as he felt heat creeping across his face. He’d probably be blushing if he hadn’t lost so much energon. Then the fact that Skyfire had just kissed him, after all that had occurred between them, and had yet to be resolved. His tank was churning with confusion and excitement and revulsion at his own betrayal of himself. Or at least, who he perceived himself to be.

“Skyfire, I must admit, I’m not really sure who I am anymore,” Starscream said whisper soft, leaning his helm lightly against his old friend's chest.

“You’re so different but, just the same,” Skyfire said and his lips were on him again and Starscream found himself shoving him away. 

“Sky,” he murmured lowly, and a part of Skyfire thrilled at the use of the familiar nickname. “Defecting is going to be hard enough without you making me look like a massive sap.”

“You dragged Ratchet here through the mud because you felt bad betraying him,” Skyfire grinned into Starscream’s quickly growing indignant face. “You are a massive sap.”

Starscream lashed out with a well aimed kick to Skyfire’s knee which did absolutely nothing but clang noisily. Skyfire merely grabbed his wrists and leaned in to kiss him again.

When Skyfire had finished he pulled back grinning and Starscream was doing the same. It was a foreign feeling, this lighthearted giddy sensation in his spark. He couldn’t remember feeling this way since he had still earnestly believed in Megatron’s cause and Primus if that wasn’t a long while back.

“Ah so, we rescue you from him only to find you right back in his arms,” Skywarp’s cheery voice called as there's a thunk and wet splash followed by another. Starscream glanced up to see the familiar outlines of his trinemates approaching through the gloom.

Starscream felt his wings groan as Skyfire reflexively crushed him to his chest, deep rumble emanating from inside him.

“Ow, Skyfire, ow,” Starscream complained, slapping his servo against Skyfire’s chest roughly resulting in a loud clang resonating up from the strike. 

Skyfire blinked down owlishly at the heap of seeker in his arms, before startling and releasing him, anger forgotten in seemingly all of two seconds.

“Was that a growl? Seriously? I didn’t know your vocalizer could do that,” Starscream smirked, looking from Skyfire to his trine. He goes to approach his trine when he gets seized again, but this time it’s just Skyfire’s servo on his.

“Star I’m not letting you go back to the Decepticons,” He thought Skyfire was trying to sound resolute, but his voice had a minute tremor to it and the edge of desperation makes it sound like less of a statement and more like Skyfire is just a few inches shy of begging.

Starscream grinned and it’s all fang, “You’re not letting me do anything Skyfire, I’m going to talk to my trine. Do not think you own me just because I am courting the idea of joining your faction,” And with that he rips his servo out of Skyfire’s grasp. Skyfire’s entire frame shuddered as he looked ready to lurch after Starscream but a single warning glare had him staying put.

Starscream cautiously approached his trine, unsure of what exactly engaging with them might bring.

“How did you find me?” he asked incredulously.

Thundercracker rolled his optics as Skywarp tossed back his helm and laughed, “Oh Star, as if you haven’t been going after one thing since Skyfire came out of the ice.”

“I’m thinking of defecting,” Starscream admits before he can even really think about it. Maybe being around Skyfire is making him more stupid. Or more honest. Which in wartime was practically the same thing.

“We know,” Skywarp and Thundercracker say at abruptly the same time, amusement plain on their faces.

“You do? And you...?”

“Ideally the Autobots let us in too,” Thundercracker said with a shrug and a small glance directed at Optimus who is still lingering farther back optics politely averted.

“Can hardly go back now that we blew up Shockwave’s lab,” Skywarp said with a nod.

“You what?” Starscream can’t help the way stunned surprise had his vocalizer ticking up into a shriek. Skyfire shifted uneasily behind him and Skywarp can’t help but smirk as he watched the shuttle nervously try to edge his way closer to Starscream without his notice.

“They had all that data on you, what did you think was going to happen if you defected and they could still track your spark signature?” Skywarp said tone sounding morose but expression looking anything but. 

“So you find the tracker you don’t blow up the whole lab,” Starscream shouted, throwing out his arms wide in his exasperation.

“What do you care, not your faction anyways,” Thundercracker pointed out with a wry smile while Skywarp grinned beside him.

“Not anymore, anyways. Plus we figured you were going to do this and that being able to claim we’re the reason behind Decepticon projects being set back a couple millenia was just another point to help us get on Optimus’ good side,” Skywarp stated proudly.

“We’re not on his side,” Thundercracker corrects bluntly, throwing a chastising glance at Skywarp before looking at Optimus as if he expected to be challenged. “Picking a side didn’t help us last time. Our loyalty is to Starscream, and if he is loyal to the Autobots then by extension, so are we.”

“This decision will have to be discussed among high command,” Optimus said after a moment of quiet thought, drawing closer now that the conversation was being directed towards him. “You are welcome to come aboard the Ark where we can discuss this further and see that your commander’s wound is fully tended to.”

With that the Autobot leader turned to leave.

“Defecting,” Starscream said aloud to himself, before looking at Skywarp and Thundercracker seriously. “Why?”

“You know I never joined the cause because I believed in it,” Thundercracker said with a shrug. “I wanted to avenge Vos. But now Vos is long dead and gone and trine is all that is left. And I do not believe remaining in the Decepticons will preserve that.”

“Skywarp?” Starscream asked.

“I don’t think, either faction is what it set out to be at the beginning of the war,” Skywarp said as his expression turned into an unfamiliar look of concentration. “I believed Megatron at the start, but now I’m not even really sure who leads the Decepticons, or what our goal is.”

“Alright,” Starscream said, turning to look at Skyfire resolutely. “We will negotiate with the Autobots.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long wait, longer chapter


	7. Chapter 7

As they were shutting the door to the Ark’s conference room a concerning thud was heard as a certain second in command all but threw himself against the door. 

Starscream sat, perhaps the least alone he had felt in ages, what with his trine glued to his side and a rather large, rather anxious shuttle plastered to his back, in the form of Skyfire, doing his best not to loom nervously.

Besides them, Ironhide, Jazz and Ratchet were all in the room, apparently being senior members of the Autobots whom Optimus put a lot of faith in regards to their judgement. All optics turned to the door where a disheveled looking Prowl seemed to be working on muscling his way in.

“NO! No making decisions about Decepticons joining our ranks without my involvement,” the near hysterical voice of Prowl was heard shouting, followed by the concerning sound of metal grinding against metal.

“Should we let the mech in then? Think he might tear the door off its hinges if we don’t,” Jazz grinned as the sound of servos scrabbling against the door was heard.

Optimus let out a resigned sigh, and waved his servo tiredly, “Let him in.”

Prowl staggered into the room, glaring at all involved as if they were personally involved in slighting him.

“Now then,” Optimus began, glancing at a still very indignant looking Prowl standing with his chassis heaving and optics full of unspent fire. “Prowl, if you’ll take a seat.”

“I don’t get why we’re even entertaining the notion of those,” Prowl struggled for a moment, thrusting a shaking digit toward three suddenly very innocent looking pairs of optics.

“Menaces.” Prowl finally settled on that word after a moment of deep thought as to which word served to be scathing enough and found they all came up short.

“Starscream did us a favor in returning our CMO,” Optimus began in a placating tone that seemed to only serve to rile up Prowl more. The Autobot second in command visibly bristled as his plating flared out and he tossed his helm with a haughty air of indignation.

“When he put several mecha in the very same medbay that CMO is in charge of in the first place!” Prowl exploded. Starscream leaned back in his seat amused. He’d never been witness to internal Autobot squabbling, and had he known it would have been so entertaining, he might have considered defecting earlier. Besides his own theatrics, Megatron didn’t tolerate much backtalk. 

“Cool it for a minute, mech,” Jazz soothed, walking up to his comrade and putting a servo on his shoulder as Prowl worked on steadying his heaving frame. “Now you have a point. Screamer and his pals are a menace.”

“Thank you,” Prowl said, desperation edging his tone as relief washed through his frame at the idea that at least someone in this room held a shred of sanity.

“But they could be our menaces,” Jazz stated bluntly, and Prowl once again shot up in alarm. Jazz turned to him, servos raised in a placating gesture.

“Now hold on before you go pitching a fit,” Jazz’s tone was cautious, as if he was dealing with a wounded animal instead of his superior officer.

“Let’s look at this from a tactical perspective, alright? Alright. Now, assuming Megatron doesn’t just outright kill these three,” Jazz gestured to Starscream and his trine. “Ignoring the fact the ethics of returning three mecha back to their faction to be executed is already murky. Megatron now has witness to the destructive potential of his elite trine and has a viable reason to coerce them into using it.”

“Alright,” Ironhide sighed. “I can agree the three of them probably don’t belong back with the Decepticons. But here? As part of the faction? I was already iffy on it when it was just Screamer. But three of them? What’s t’say they don’t just blow up our energon supply and labs and leave us crippled? It’s a matter of trust and leverage and we don’t have either.”

“What could we possibly have to gain from that,” Starscream questioned dismissively. Ironhide’s face darkened as he opened his mouth to respond, when he was quickly cut off.

“You can disable my tcog,” Thundercracker suggested after the room had fallen into a tense silence for a moment. “I can’t use my outlier ability in root mode, not without it being fatal.”

“Me too,” Skywarp piped up. “I mean, I guess you can't stop my ability regardless, but you could also put a tracker on me. Kinda ruins the point of teleporting if people know where you’re going, and I can’t warp indefinitely,” Skywarp offered with a tentative grin and a shrug.

The bond was warm, between the three of them. Warm with affection and trust and surety. Starscream felt his spark tingle in a way that, for once, wasn’t medically concerning.

When Prowl looked at Starscream expectantly the former Decepticon Air Commander turned up his nose in disdain, “Haven’t I done enough to prove myself? Don’t expect more concessions from me.”

“What have you done?” Prowl pressed, low growl in his voice.

“What have I done? What haven’t I done?” Starscream threw up his servos as he stood suddenly, wings flaring out wide in his outrage. “If you think Megatron is going to let us traipse away having blown up his lab, as if there’s no score to settle, as if it isn’t a massive advantage to have him distracted and fuming over an internal dispute, you’re playing naive.”

Prowl’s expression grew less intense but no less sour as he turned to contemplate these points.

Starscream continued, “I’m sure you’re aware I’m not the most... even handed mech. I have connections and favors that run deeper than my faction.”

“You’re saying you could hook us up with your dirty connections,” Ironhide said, barely concealed sneer plain on his face. 

“I’m saying you talk awfully high for a faction that has loose ties with the likes of Tarantulas and who harbors unrepentant war criminals like Chromedome. An edge is an edge and it doesn’t necessarily need to be pressed to someone's throat to be useful,” Starscream snapped impatiently. The optics around the room widened in surprise before narrowing in indignation. Starscream snorted internally, typical morally grandstanding Autobots.

He sat back down. His wound and his spark both ached fiercely at his sudden movements. Now that the adrenaline of battle was wearing off Starscream was beginning to become aware of the full extent of his shoddy condition.

Starscream pursed his lips and said the next few lines carefully, looking directly at Optimus as he did so, “I am willing to abide by your moral system in joining your faction.”

“And them?” Ironhide jerked his helm towards the mecha on either side of Starscream. 

“They’ll abide as well,” Starscream agreed, looking at each of his trinemates in turn. They both nodded. Thundercracker, thankfully, seemed to know that now was not the time to air his earlier protestations.

“Here’s a question for you three, sate my curiosity,” Jazz began. “Why didn’t Megatron ever think of disabling your abilities within like a force field or something similar?”

“The Decepticon command ship does have shields that rebuff outlier abilities,” Starscream intoned dully. “But having it apply to all of the ship would be a nuisance. What those two did,” Starscream flicked his servo toward his trinemates. “Was borderline suicidal and completely unanticipated.”

Jazz nodded, “An understandable oversight, if not just an egregious one.”

“Skyfire,” Ironhide said his name slow as he looked the shuttle over appraisingly. “You’ve known Starscream since before the war. What do you have to say for his character?”

Skyfire looked nervously around the room, first at his commanding officers, then at the three sets of wings in front of him.

“I knew him before the war, yes,” Skyfire began, clearing his throat as his vocalizer threatened to give. 

“I can’t say he was ever purely honest, or nonviolent, or even on occasion good tempered. But Starscream did adhere to his own set of values and beliefs which I honestly believe are not far off from the ones Autobots hold themselves to today.”

Skyfire shrugged uselessly, “The Decepticon movement has become twisted, and maybe Starscream is the face of that distortion, somewhat. But at his root, I firmly believe he still has the ability to live up to his former ideals.” Skyfire glanced down at the pair of wings in front of him. He couldn’t see Starscream’s face but he could just about guess that it was a stiff unemotional mask.

“Thank you,” Ironhide gave Skyfire a nod. 

“My command will need a bit of time to ourselves to discuss this privately,” Optimus stood and so did the rest of the Autobots in the room besides Skyfire. “Give us a while.”

It was actually only a few moments, distantly, Starscream thought he could pick out the agitated tones of Prowl’s voice being raised, and indeed, when the mech returned his expression was as dark as a blackhole. He’d take that as a good sign. The Autobots reseated themselves as Optimus cleared his vocalizer.

“We will allow you three to stay here provisionally. The methods of limiting your alt modes will be applied and any attempt to tamper with them will result in your immediate discharging. You will have to pull your weight, same as any other mech in this faction. Further details shall be disseminated to you later. Are there any questions?”

“Do we have to wear those ugly badges,” Skywarp pointed to the Autobot insignia on Optimus’ shoulder with a lopsided grin.

“You mean do you get to wear them. You have to earn that,” Ironhide snorted. “And you’re not off to a good start proving your worthy of it.”

Skywarp scoffed and muttered something under his breath that was probably best left being unintelligible.

“Right then,” Ironhide continued after seeing that none of the former Decepticon’s gathered around had any further questions. “Welcome to the faction, traitors.”

Ratchet rolled his optics as Jazz nudged Ironhide with a grin. Prowl managed to look even more chagrined as Opitmus sighed wearily and shot his friend a disapproving look. 

“We hope you will make the best of this opportunity for change,” Optimus gazed at each of Starscream’s trine steadily in turn, optics seeming to linger a shade longer on Starscream. He unsubspaced three datapads and slid them across the table.

“This will have your room assignments, a list of our faction’s rules and values, and a means of navigating unclassified parts of the ship. There is a list of comm frequencies in case you need any assistance.”

“Starscream,” Starscream’s gaze shifted languidly to the Autobot leader as his name was called. “You will see Ratchet immediately after this meeting and will be on medical leave until he deems you fit for duty. Skywarp and Thundercracker, your duties are listed under your schedule and will be updated daily.”

“Anything else?” Starscream prompted impatiently, chin propped up in his servo. It was a facade of nonchalance, in truth his side ached terribly and he felt as if he would purge any moment. For some reason, the burning in his spark had only continued to worsen throughout the meeting, to the point where Starscream felt as if his presence was leaving his frame.

“Unless there are any further questions, you are all free to go, welcome to the Autobot faction.” The last statement was said with Optimus usual warm intonation, but Starscream saw in his optics trepidation and wariness. 

At Optimus’ dismissal, the Autobot high command was quick to vacate the room. A grumbling Prowl was led out of the room by Jazz leaving only Ratchet behind. The medic made a beeline around the table towards Starscream.

“You come with me,” Ratchet pointed a stout digit at Starscream.

“What are you on about medic?” Starscream batted away at the servo. Ratchet ignored him and seized him by a wing, jerking it down sharply. Starscream hissed through his teeth. “I’ve cut off hands for far less, watch it.”

“Starscream, Optimus told you,” Skywarp began tentatively, only to stop midway as he received a sharp glare from Starscream.

“Aww, not feeling so cuddly now are we?” Ratchet mocked. “Enough with the theatrics, you’ve got a decent sized hole in your side and the way you keep clutching at your chest absentmindedly- yes just like that,” Ratchet nodded to the way Starscream’s servo had come up to rub at the parting seams in front of his spark chamber. “Leads me to think all is not right with you, more so than usual.”

Starscream tried to twitch his wing violently out of Ratchet’s grip, but the doctor was clearly seasoned with holding onto thrashing patients and he merely responded by gripping Starscream tighter and holding his wing at an ugly angle before releasing it, letting the appendage fly back to hit Skywarp right on his front. Skywarp grunted irritably, but surprisingly didn’t retaliate.

“Starscream, I think you should really let him check you over,” Skyfire said softly. His servos twitched with the desire to touch Starscream but he held himself back. “If anything, do it to prove you’re not a security hazard. Letting Ratchet scan you will also prove you’re not bugged or being tracked.”

Starscream, unfortunately, had to agree that sounded reasonable. Refusing medical treatment when he was severely wounded was almost always seen as pointless theatrics by the Decepticons who knew his patterns. But here? It was suspicious. Sighing heavily, Starscream stood to walk with Ratchet.

Skywarp and Thundercracker made to follow but Ratchet held up a servo to stop them.

“Oh no, I don’t need you two smothering him while I’m trying to work. You stay here, I’ll get to your tcogs soon enough. Skyfire, take them to their quarters, or give them a tour, or something,” Ratchet waved a servo toward Skyfire and then ushered a grumbling Starscream out of the room.

There was a long pause which was broken by Skywarp. He turned to Skyfire, wings perked up, arms thrown wide.

“Congrats,” Skywarp grinned up at Skyfire mischievously. “You got Starscream to change his mind after 4 million years.”

“I- uh- it wasn’t my intention-,” Skyfire stammered, though he wasn’t even sure if that was true. This was what he had wanted, wasn’t it? Starscream and himself on the same side, a side where Skyfire didn’t have to question his morals endlessly. He found himself oddly nervous to be alone with Starscream’s trine, intimidated was a word for it. Here were two mecha close to Starscream, almost impossibly so. It stung to think that while Skyfire knew him longer, they knew him better, at least this current Starscream.

He wasn’t sure how to feel about them. A part of him dimly recollected his rage at them stealing Starscream, but he found it hard to hold onto that anger. He’d intruded on their relationship much the same way he felt they had on his. He’d gotten the chance to see them look at Starscream, expressions riddled with concern, and as much as it made him feel jealous, it also filled him with guilt.

“Skywarp,” Thundercracker’s tone was warning as he glared at his trinemate a moment before looking over to Skyfire cooly. “You do have an unusual amount of sway with Starscream.”

“We go back a long while,” Skyfire rubbed the back of his helm sheepishly.

“Starscream’s not known for being sentimental,” Thundercracker said pointedly. His expression was shrewd for a moment, but then lightened up. Not quite a smile, but he at least looked less disapproving. “I suppose even he has his exceptions.”

“Yeah! Like us two! Also he was fond enough of Megatron that he was never able to follow through,” Skywarp said with a lax shrug. 

Thundercracker’s gaze grew sharp and Skywarp winced at what Skyfire could only imagine was a stern private reprimand.

“Eheh, anyways, I suppose we’re on the same side and all that we better make good with each other right?” Skywarp shuffled over to Skyfire cautiously as if expecting him to draw his weapon. He flinched as Skyfire extended his servo, warping a foot backwards with a startled gasp.

“Sorry, sorry. Just a bit jumpy. Never been around this many Autobots this long without being thrown in a brig or shot at, y’know,” Skywarp finished by flashing Skyfire a wobbly grin.

Skywarp tentatively stepped forward and reached out to shake Skyfire’s servo. “Well, here’s to being on the same side, I guess.”

“You’re really sincere about this?” Skyfire asked, squinting down at the jet.

Skywarp shrugged, “There’s no going back now, and between you and me? I don’t think we’d last too long being factionless.”

“What about your cause?”

“What about it? Do you even know what you’re fighting for?” Skywarp replied easily. “I’m sure I believed in it a little at the start but times change and so do people’s intentions.”

“Skywarp, that’s enough now,” Thundercracker cut in. He was looking at Skyfire, and Skyfire had the feeling he was searching for something and he didn’t quite like it.

“Maybe you could show us to our quarters,” Thundercracker prompted him, offering a slight smile. 

Skyfire nodded agreeably, “Yes, of course, hand me your datapad and follow me.”

\---

“Well?” Starscream huffed as he watched Ratchet glare down at his scanner for the fourth time inside five minutes. Ratchet had long ago patched up his side, a relatively easy fix with his medibay at his disposal. Now he was taking a longer look at Starscream’s spark. Too long a look. It was starting to border on tedious. 

“Don’t tell me you’re going to scan me a fifth time.”

“Well that immortal spark of yours is looking less than immortal. Whatever experiments you said Shockwave was running? They’ve destabilized your spark. It’s incredibly volatile at the moment. All that fatigue and pain you’ve been feeling is your spark trying to burn its way out of its chamber and then regenerating.”

“What’s the short of it?” Starscream snapped impatiently.

“Your spark could burn itself out at worst, at best it might melt its way through your frame and try to regenerate again,” Ratchet looked like he was holding something else back.

“What, what is it?” Starscream pressed, he didn’t like the look of concern- of pity, plain on Ratchet’s face.

“It’s very likely that every time your spark massively regenerates it’s shortening your lifespan.”

Starscream felt cold. “I suppose an infinite source of energy would be too good to be true, wouldn’t it?”

“It’s not a lost cause, I’d have told you up front if that was the case,” Ratchet’s voice became oddly soft, and though a part of Starscream felt disgusted at his own reaction, he could feel the sharp edge of his emotions being tempered by the medic’s words.

“How’s that?” he asked as he glared down angrily at his own lap.

“Keep your spark isolated. Be cautious with merging, no combat, in fact I’ll have you put on light duty. Within a few weeks it should restabilize.” Ratchet picked up a datapad to type something into it.

“So I’ll be treated as an invalid then?” Starscream sulked.

“You’ll be treated as a mech with a life threatening condition, and by life threatening, I don’t just mean yours. A dying spark fades away peacefully. An unstable spark? Anyone’s guess, but I’d put my money on ‘giant release of energy’. And your spark is already an anomaly.”

“Altogether? Doesn’t bode well,” Ratchet tossed his scanner down on the adjacent medical berth with a clatter. “I can work with the guys in the labs to find a solution if you feel comfortable with sharing your medical data.”

Starscream thought back to the “scientific” tortures he had endured and his face grew cold and closed off, “No.”

Ratchet sighed. “If you change your mind, let me know. There’s potential you’d be giving yourself a better shot at life if you did.”

“I’ll manage,” Starscream muttered. Ratchet gave him a small nod. Starscream felt no small amount of relief at the fact he, for once, wasn't being told what to do in regards to his frame. Maybe that was one thing the Autobots had right.

“Before you go,” Ratchet said as Starscream began to draw himself off the medical berth. “Give that shuttle of yours a break, eh?”

“He’s not my shuttle,” Starscream huffed even as he felt his face warming.

“He certainly cares for you a great deal. Maybe too much,” Ratchet said, placing one servo on the medical berth and leaning heavily on it as he stared Starscream down.

“As if I can control that,” Starscream snapped. Skyfire was a sore and uncertain subject. He had quite a bit of ruminating to do before he figured out how to proceed in the long term. “What’s your point?”

“My point is, maybe you can’t control his affections for you but you can stop yourself from taking advantage of them. I’ve seen a lot of change with you lately, Starscream, most of it for the better. Be fair to him,” Ratchet’s gaze was steady and warm.

Starscream tried to respond but it came out as a garbled string of glyphs, ended with a “yeah whatever.” He quickly left the medbay without a glance back, and he swore he could hear Ratchet’s rusty chuckling.

“Hey Screamer, what’s wrong?” Skywarp asked almost instantly on his return. He was beginning to feel the chafe of what it was to be trapped between the three mecha who could actually read him quite well.

“Was Ratchet able to diagnose your spark?” Thundercracker pressed gently, crowding Starscream along with Skywarp. He could feel their concern sleuthing and probing at him through the bond. 

“I’m on light duty, my spark should recover in time,” Starscream said shortly. “Ratchet requested you two.”

Thundercracker and Skywarp both shared that eerie look of theirs they had when they sense he was withholding information. Starscream figured they could drag it out of Ratchet if they so desired.

With a last look cast back at him, they trotted off to go meet the medic.

“Well, they’ll be gone upwards of ninety minutes,” Starscream muttered. He turned to Skyfire, smiling tiredly, “Peace at last.”  
Skyfire didn’t smile back only said in a nervous tone of voice that set Starscream on edge, “Starscream, we should talk.”

“Talk, talk, talk, all you Autobots ever do. Tell me, doesn’t the camaraderie get wearing,” Starscream didn’t bother looking at Skyfire’s earnestly imploring optics. His resolve was already weak enough as of late.

“What are we?” The question was posed nervously, and Skyfire’s optics darted from side to side as he asked the question.

“Why, whatever do you mean?” Starscream’s smile was coy and Skyfire’s optics narrowed slightly in gentle frustration. It was cute, how everything about Skyfire was so soft, gentle, overbearing.

“The kiss, what did it mean? Did it mean something?” Starscream is almost caught off guard by the boldness of the question, at the very least he’s impressed.

“A greeting to a longtime friend,” he replied airily.

“So… were friends?” Skyfire’s optics dimmed as he looked down the floor.

Ratchet’s disapproving visage came up in Starscream's processor, so he dropped the tormenting, “Skyfire, we can be whatever you want to be. You seem to be the one with the most trepidations about my past.”

“But, your trine?” Skyfire’s expression was riddled with guilt as he trailed off uncertainly. Starscream studied him closely for a moment before tossing back his helm and laughing.

“My trine and I are not romantically involved. Apologies for never explaining to you that the myth trines are intrinsically non platonic is false,” Starscream said, still chuckling at the idea of Skyfire seeing Skywarp of all mech as an intense romantic rival.

“Then we, are we, can we-” Skyfire stumbled over his words, vocalizer growing strained as he struggled to elaborate his question. Starscream had, for years, daydreamed about Skyfire confessing to him and asking him for courtship formally. His spark fluttered and felt light in ways it hadn’t since before the war.

Starscream reached out a servo gently, resting it on Skyfire’s arm and smiled at him, making as tender an expression as anyone had ever seen the former Decepticon air commander make.

“Yes.”

Skyfire blinked, stunned for a moment, before breaking out in a wide sincere grin and sweeping Starscream up in his arms, pressing a kiss to his lips before he could think too long about it. As they broke apart Skyfire murmured, “We’ve still got quite a lot to sort out, haven’t we.”

“Oh, most definitely,” Starscream said faintly as a very small, yet very noisy voice in his processor screamed at how stupidly impulsive he was being. Starscream ignored it. “Later. Much later.”

Skyfire’s gaze suddenly fixated on something behind them. He set Starscream down, face flushing as he stiffed to stand up straight.

Starscream looked at him incredulously, “Skyfire, something the matter?”

“Er, I’ve just remembered these hallways have surveillance,” Skyfire said sheepishly as he hunched down into his shoulders a bit in embarrassment. 

Starscream couldn’t bother with much more shame, he’d already kissed Skyfire within view of the Prime today, defected, and got mud all in his gears being a faction traitor, he supposed his dignity couldn’t take much more of a fall.

“Well then, you should show me to my quarters,” Starscream said as he drew near to Skyfire, servo trailing along the shuttle’s large wing in a way that made it twitch adorably. “And then we can spend some more time catching up,” he purred. 

“We do- we do actually have to talk about things Starscream,” Skyfire stammered through his sentence, with an attempt at looking resolute that Starscream found spark wrenchingly endearing.

“Yes of course, so, escort me. If not to my quarters, to the wash racks, I’m filthy. The solvent had better be warm” Starscream sniffed as he held out his servo, palm up to Skyfire. With a last cautious look at the security camera Skyfire had spied moments before, he reached out and seized Starscream’s servo. 

“Right this way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey gaymers, its been a bit. I tend to lose track of time. I was poked by someone to do an update, so here we are. Feel free to poke me, ask me when im updating. I'll give you a date and upload by then.
> 
> So ive got a bit of good news and more good news for ye ol' skystar fans
> 
> Good news: I'll be both adding a oneshot fic as part of a skystar exchange sometime next month. I'll also be updating this story again before end of march. Headsup, this story's probably ending in 2-3 chs.
> 
> More good news: I'm thinkin about writing a skystar crossfaction sparkling fic, so if you're into that stick around a bit. It'll be dumb and full of humor, probably a crack taken seriously sort of deal.

**Author's Note:**

> To b-b-be continued, eventually-


End file.
